him like an unhinged nymphomaniac. I was sure the coma-till-graduation option would have been fantastic for him, too.
That's when I realized something. While I couldn't actually disappear, I could make what had happened disappear. I'd just act like it had never occurred, and I'd stay far enough away from Archer that we'd never have to deal with it. Ever.
Uh-oh. He was walking toward me. He looked nervous. He was probably worried I was going to do something stupid like collapse into tears or profess my undying love right there in the hall.
"Cara, hey!" he said. "I, um ... didn't see you at the Halloween dance. I would have called, but..."
I laughed, as if the idea of him calling was the most preposterous thing in the universe. "I didn't go," I said with a shrug. " A little under the weather, no biggie. Talk to you later!" I turned and strode toward my locker, but he followed right along.
"I, um..." He took a deep breath, then lowered his voice. "I kind of thought maybe we should talk."
"About what?" I asked. And here was the impressive part: I stopped walking and turned to face him with a perplexed look on my face, like I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about.
"About ... you know..."
I gave him nothing. I shrugged my shoulders again and looked at him curiously.
The standoff continued for maybe a minute, and I had no idea how to get out of it gracefully. Then inspiration struck. "Ooh, it's my aunt's birthday! I want to text her before class starts. I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay," he replied, but I was already zipping out a side door to deliver my pretend text.
Wow. That kind of worked. It wasn't fun, but it worked. I could handle being in the same universe as Archer without falling apart. I could.
When I walked into English, I saw Archer had saved my usual spot next to him. I walked right past it and settled in across the room, sitting between a Happy Hopeless and a Cubby Crew. I don't know how Archer reacted. I didn't let myself look.
Lunch was a little more challenging. Finding a whole new group to sit with was way too daunting to handle. Happily, the vending machines still had Diet Cokes and Zone bars. I could've eaten in my car, but it felt conspicuous. I might be a loser, but I didn't have to look like one. I wandered around the main building until I found a small cement stairwell that led to some kind of basement door. The stairwell was littered with dried leaves—not surprising, since the whole area was half hidden by trees. The door itself was padlocked. I could only imagine what was in there—storage, I supposed. Whatever it was, it looked as though it hadn't been disturbed in ages. No one would see me down here, and it offered a bit of shelter from the cold. It was the perfect place to curl up with my lunch, hang out, and read until it was time for my afternoon classes. After school I drove home as quickly as possible.
This became my daily schedule. At first Archer tried to catch my attention and make conversation. I wasn't surprised. He was a nice person; I'm sure he felt obligated. I was always smiley, friendly, and very, very busy, so he soon realized he didn't have to make the effort.
It was perfect. Sure, I was more isolated than I'd have liked, and I did worry a little that someone might catch me in my lunchtime hideaway and mistake me for a homeless person, but I wasn't in pain on a daily basis, and that seemed like a totally reasonable tradeoff. As the weeks rolled by, I even decided the hermit life suited me. Oh, sure, there were some things I missed. I couldn't bring myself to go see Archer in Cyrano, for example, even though I knew he'd be brilliant. I'd spent so many weeks running lines with him and imagining he was thinking about me when he said each romantic word ... To hear them now would be torture.
I still might have tried if I hadn't already experimented with the previous week's jazz band concert. It was awful. Seeing Archer play piano reminded me of when I used to watch him practice at his house. It hurt too much. I tried to focus on the rest of the band and concentrate on the music, but it didn't help. I sneaked