yet?”
The pills had broken up under my tongue and filled my mouth with an acrid taste.
“What are you going to do to me?”
“I’m going to do for you what I did for all of them. You wanted to know about the Poet? You are going to know all there is to know. Everything. Firsthand knowledge, Jack. You see, you are the choice. Remember what the fax said? The choice has been made, he’s in my sights. That was you, Jack. All along.”
“Backus, you sick fuck! You—”
My outburst jarred some of the debris loose in my mouth and I swallowed it before I could stop. Backus, seemingly knowing what had happened, burst out laughing but then abruptly cut it off. He glared at me and I could see a dim light in his unblinking eyes. I realized then how mad he was and it dawned on me that because Rachel was not the one, the thing that I had believed was part of her misdirection might in actuality be part of the real Poet’s killing pattern. The condoms, the sexual aspects. It could all be part of his killing program.
“What did you do to my brother?”
“That was between him and me. Personal.”
“Tell me.”
He exhaled.
“Nothing, Jack. Nothing. He was the one who wouldn’t go along with the program. He was my one failure. But now I have the closest thing to a second chance. I won’t fail this time.”
I looked down at the ground. I could feel the effects of the painkillers beginning to move through me. I squeezed my eyes shut and balled my fists but it was too late. The poison was in my blood.
“There’s nothing you can do,” Backus said. “Just relax, Jack, let it take you. Soon it will all be over.”
“You’re not going to get away. There’s no way Rachel’s not going to see this for what it was.”
“You know, Jack, I think you are one hundred percent correct. She’ll know. She may already. That’s why I’m leaving after this. You are the last chore on my list, then I take my leave.”
I didn’t get it.
“Leaving?”
“I’m sure Rachel already has her suspicions. That’s why I’ve had to keep sending her to Florida. But it’s only a temporary deflection. Soon enough she’ll know. That’s why it’s time to shed the skin and move on. I’ve got to be me, Jack.”
His face lit up with the last line. I thought he was about to sing it but he didn’t.
“How’s it feeling now, Jack? A little light-headed?”
I didn’t reply but he knew the answer was yes. I felt like I was beginning to slip into a void of darkness, a boat going over the falls. All the while Backus just watched, talking in his calm monotone, using my name often.
“Let it work itself through you, Jack. Just enjoy these moments. Think about your brother. Think about what you are going to say to him. I think you should tell him what a great investigator you turned out to be. Two in the family, that’s something. Think of Sean’s face. Smiling. Smiling at you, Jack. Now let your eyes close until you can see him. Go ahead. Nothing’s going to happen. You’re safe, Jack.”
I couldn’t help it. My eyelids were drooping. I tried to look away from him. I stared at the lights in the mirror but the fatigue still grabbed me and took me under. I closed my eyes.
“That’s good, Jack. Excellent. Do you see Sean now?”
I nodded, then I felt his hand on my left wrist. He moved it onto the arm of the chair. Then he did the same with my right arm.
“Perfect, Jack. You’re a wonderful subject. So cooperative. Now I don’t want you to feel any pain. No pain, Jack. No matter what happens here, you will not feel any pain, do you understand that?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I don’t want you to move, Jack. In fact, Jack, you cannot move. Your arms are like dead weights. You cannot move them. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” I said.
My eyes were still closed and my chin was resting on my chest but I was totally aware of my surroundings. It was as if my mind and body had separated. It was as if I was looking down from above at myself in the chair.
“Open your eyes now, Jack.”
I did as I was told and saw Backus standing before me. His gun was holstered under his open jacket and in one hand he now held a long steel needle. This was my