good-naturedly.
I slid into the wide booth next to St. Louis. I chose his side so I would be looking at Wexler.
“What is this?” St. Louis mildly protested.
“It’s the press,” I said. “Howzit going?”
“Don’t answer,” St. Louis said quickly to Wexler. “He wants something he can’t have.”
“Of course I do,” I said. “What else is new?”
“Nothing is new, Jack,” Wexler said. “Is what Big Dog says true? You want something you can’t have?”
It was a dance. Friendly patter designed to ferret out the basic nut of information without specifically asking for it and confronting it. It went with the nicknames cops used. I had danced like this many times and I was good at it. They were finesse moves. Like practicing the three-man weave in high school basketball. Keep your eyes open for the ball, watch the other two men at once. I was always the finesse player. Sean was the strength. He was football. I was basketball.
“Not exactly,” I said. “But I am back on the job again, boys.”
“Oh, here we go,” St. Louis whined. “Hold on to your hats.”
“So, what’s happening on the Lofton case?” I asked Wexler, ignoring St. Louis.
“Whoa there, Jack, are you talking to us as a reporter now?” Wexler asked.
“I’m only talking to you. And that’s right, as a reporter.”
“Then no comment on Lofton.”
“So the answer is nothing is happening.”
“I said no comment.”
“Look, I want to see what you’ve got. The case is almost three months old now. It’s going into the dead case file soon if it isn’t already there and you know it. I just want to see the file. I want to know what hooked Sean so deep.”
“You’re forgetting something. Your brother was ruled a suicide. Case closed. It doesn’t matter what hooked him about Lofton. Besides, it’s not known as fact that it had anything to do with what he did. It’s collateral at best. But we’ll never know.”
“Cut the crap. I just saw the file on Sean.” Wexler’s eyebrows raised a subliminal amount, I thought. “It’s all there. Sean was fucked up over this case. He was seeing a shrink, he was spending all of his time on it. So don’t tell me we’ll never know.”
“Look, kid, we—”
“Did you ever call Sean that?” I interrupted.
“What?”
“Kid. Did you ever call him kid?” Wexler looked confused.
“Nope.”
“Then don’t call me it, either.”
Wexler raised his arms in a hands-off manner.
“Why can’t I see the file? You’re not going anywhere with it.”
“Who says?”
“I do. You’re afraid of it, man. You saw what it did to Sean and you don’t want it to happen to you. So the case is stuck in a drawer somewhere. It’s got dust on it. I guarantee it.”
“You know, Jack, you’re seriously full of shit. And if you weren’t your brother’s brother, I’d throw you outta here on your ass. You’re getting me pissed. I don’t like being pissed.”
“Yeah? Then imagine how I’m feeling. The thing of it is, I am his brother and I think that cuts me in.”
St. Louis gave a smirking type of laugh meant to belittle me.
“Hey, Big Dog, isn’t it about time you went out and watered a fire hydrant or something?” I said.
Wexler burst out with the start of a laugh but quickly contained it. But St. Louis’s face turned red.
“Listen, you little fuck,” he said. “I’ll put you—”
“All right, boys,” Wexler intervened. “All right. Listen, Ray, why don’t you go outside and have a smoke? Let me talk to Jackie, straighten him out, and I’ll be out.”
I got out of the booth so St. Louis could slide out. He gave me the dead man’s stare as he went by. I slid back in.
“Drink up, Wex. No sense acting like there isn’t any Beam on the table.”
Wexler grinned and took a pull from his glass.
“You know, twins or not, you’re a lot like your brother. You don’t give up on things easy. And you can be a smart-ass. You get rid of that beard and the hippie hair and you could pass for him. You’d have to do something about that scar, too.”
“Look, what about the file?”
“What about it?”
“You owe it to him to let me see it.”
“I don’t follow, Jack.”
“Yes, you do. I can’t put it behind me until I’ve looked it all over. I’m just trying to understand.”
“You’re also trying to write about it.”
“Writing does for me what you got in that glass does for you. If I can write about it, I can understand it. And I can put it in the