who doesn’t the male slut of Providence have a past with?”
“I don’t think he would have. And if you’re judging him by the actions of those girls, you might want to rethink that because they can be manipulative. Lizzy has been known to cause trouble in the past and tries to worm her way in to cause trouble.”
“I don’t need it. I need to focus on my grades, play rugby, and graduate. I just don’t know how to do that and not want Seth so badly.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
I hoped so.
On Monday, I still hadn’t figured anything out. My mind and heart were in a much worse state, and I had just about resolved to let Seth go and take myself out of the social scenes of my school altogether. Sure, it was a Clara move, but this was for many different reasons.
I had gone the entire weekend without so much as a text from Seth, and while I didn’t want to be the kind of girl to expect him to live and breathe me, it would have been nice if he had at least cared enough to want to know how I was feeling.
Instead, I nursed my hangover and my feelings all weekend alone.
So when I saw him at practice standing outside near the field talking to a girl I didn’t recognize, I decided I was wasting time with him. He wasn’t ever going to change.
I tried not to spy on him as he and the girl laughed and talked as she dug in her bag and handed him a slip of paper.
I didn’t have to wonder what that was. Of course, he had asked for her phone number. Why wouldn’t he? She was cute and perky in her little Pro-U cardigan and short skirt.
I went through the motions of practice just to get through it, and when it was time to walk out to the car, I saw Seth at his Jeep.
I hadn’t planned on engaging. Instead, I fished out my keys and had them ready as I approached my car, which was just on the other side of his Jeep. He parked next to me this time.
“Hey,” he said, stopping at the hood. “Aren’t you going to say hi?”
“Hi.” I took out my keys and unlocked the car as I got closer.
He looked confused, and I had far too much building on my mind to let him leave without saying how I felt.
As he hit the locks, I turned, and instead of getting in my car, I hopped in the Jeep as he settled behind the wheel. He gave me a strange look when he looked over to find me there.
“Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not. If you’re going to mess around with every girl at this university, you’re going to have to stop kissing me.”
“I don’t understand. What does the rumor mill have me up to this week? I thought the latest rumor would be about us.”
“I don’t need rumors. I can see with my own eyes. You were just flirting and got that girl’s number. How do you think that makes me feel? And right here at practice for everyone to see. I guess now that everyone thinks we’ve slept together, it’s time to move on.”
Seth looked down at his hands, which were gripping the wheel. He looked disappointed, but I guessed that was how he would look, seeing that he had gotten caught.
“I wasn’t flirting with anyone. I was talking to Flora. She’s in my science class, which I’m about to fail miserably if I don’t study the pages she gave me.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a small folded sheet of paper. The one I’d seen her pass to him. “See?”
I unfolded it and read the page numbers. He was telling the truth. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Next time, why not give me the benefit of the doubt? You know, I go to school here, and I know a lot of people, Avery. Guys and girls who I’m friends with and who I talk to. That’s not going to change. So I don’t know what to tell you. If you’re going to be jealous about every fucking one of them, maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need to stop kissing you. But if you’d trust me for five minutes and let me get through this fucking season, maybe we could have something really good. It’s up to you if you can trust that or not.”
“Is that what has you holding back? The game?”
“Coach