park, and he had me laughing. He always made me laugh. Did the guy have a single bad trait? I had yet to find one. I glanced at him again, allowing my hand to brush his, just seeing if I was wrong.
I wasn’t. There was no chemistry at all.
“What’s with the grin today?”
We located our favorite food truck and stood in line. “It’s kind of my birthday.” I rubbed at the back of my neck. Birthdays weren’t something I ever got excited about. At least not my own.
It was more of something I liked celebrating for my boy. Not me.
“What? That’s it. Lunch is on me.”
“I can get my own lunch.”
“Yeah, I know that, but come on. It’s your birthday. Are you doing anything later?”
I shook my head. “Unless you count my date with Lulu and Lola after I close shop.”
He pulled a face at me. “I swear those goddamn fish have taken over your life. You need to get a boyfriend.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
At least I thought I did. He was just in a recovery center getting well. Maybe when he came out, he’d realize he no longer needed a Daddy.
“Still hasn’t called you?” he asked hesitantly.
“He can’t.” My tone came out frostier than I’d intended. “It’s a part of his program since his therapist says agrees he’d become dependent on me, and I don’t want him to break that and lose focus. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Hey, man, take it down a notch. I know you’re fully into this guy. I just hope it works out, you know.”
I didn’t have to respond to him as we stepped to the front of the line and ordered our food. Dane chatted with the food truck guy, completely distracted with all the flirting between them, which I was glad for. It gave me enough time to compose myself.
When we received our food, we walked away to find an empty table. At this time of the day, that was usually hard. Luckily, group of four young guys who looked like they belonged to Battersea college—one guy had on a polo shirt with the school logo—left, and we grabbed their table.
Seeing them made me think of Ashton.
“I didn’t mean to upset you earlier,” Dane said as we settled down to eat. “I should really learn to keep my mouth shut.”
“It’s okay. We’re still working out this friendship.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, well, I’m glad you came out to the salon today. I think I was beginning to inhale too much hair spray.”
We both laughed and moved the conversation to safer ground. At least I thought we were on safer territory until I noticed he’d stopped talking. He stared at me with a faraway look in his eyes.
“What’s that look for?”
He shrugged and dropped his eyes to his fish sandwich. “Just thinking how nice it must be for him. Ashton Keyes. To have someone who loves him the way you do. Everyone wants that, Callum.”
“Guess what? It means absolutely shit if you don’t love yourself first. That much I can tell you.”
“I really hope he gets better for you.”
And because his words seemed sincere, I spilled everything to him about watching Ashton’s videos, him paying for Mario’s fees, and buying me all kinds of stuff. Phil didn’t know everything, and I felt weird talking to him about so much. He was kind of jaded already where Ashton was concerned.
Dane was more neutral.
“Wow, seems like he feels the same way about you and don’t want you to forget it,” he said.
“Yeah, I have no doubt how he feels about me. I never doubted that. I was more concerned about how he felt about himself.”
“From all you’ve said, he’s improving.”
My stomach clenched, and I sobered, coming down from my high. “There was a time I thought Mario was improving too, but it was never for long.”
And that was the big question that only the future could answer. How long could Ashton keep it up? Was this just a fluke to get me back, or was he really trying for him?
“The way I see it is that you can only love someone in the present. What’s the sense of worrying over something that might never happen?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ashton
I woke up in the middle of the night with stomach cramps and covered in sweat. In my haste to scramble out of bed, I tumbled onto the floor and barely managed to crab walk to the bathroom to throw up. My body convulsed from the force of it, and I was burning up