to spend the day with Ashton, but he wasn’t around.
I’d keep the significance of the day close to my chest and let it be just another day.
A workday with flowers.
And chocolate that was delivered only an hour after.
And an expensive watch that came next.
Then there was the ridiculous flash mob that camped outside the café and waited until I headed out to ambush me. I should’ve cringed at all the attention Ashton was focusing on me, even when he was away, but it was kind of cute, and everyone in the coffee shop cheered and found it endearing.
When I finally escaped upstairs, the temptation to call him was stronger than ever. At least to tell him thanks for making me smile today. And while I was at it, I could tell him how proud I was of him.
I called my therapist instead. For the first time since I’d left New York, I’d called her two weeks ago to let her know I’d fallen off the wagon. That I was right back at square one, funneling bad habits of thinking I could save the people I cared about.
It was just the talk I’d needed from her to remind me that I wasn’t responsible for Ashton’s sobriety. I could support him, but ultimately Ashton had to make the decisions. He had to overcome his demons.
She was with another client, so I booked an appointment with her. I’d never thought after we’d worked out what went wrong with Mario that I’d need her again. While I could muddle through much of what was happening with Ash since I’d done this before, it was easier to have someone to talk about it.
I decided to go out for lunch hour but made a detour to the salon first. Two weeks ago, I’d taken up Dane on his offer for a haircut. A couple of times, we’d had lunch together. Completely platonic. He knew I was still interested in Ash, and he respected that. He seemed to need a friend more than a boyfriend anyway.
“Hey, man.” He grinned when I entered the salon.
I was struck once more that he was a wholesome and attractive guy. He had himself together, a steady job, steady consciousness, and we talked about his random hookups when he went to bars on the weekend, so he had a healthy sex appetite.
I should’ve been able to get into him. He’d even be up to it if I made the first move, but I didn’t have the same high feeling I got around Ashton when I was with Dane. I didn’t look in his eyes and feel the need to come up with a sickening nickname like Pretty Eyes. I didn’t have the urge to take him to bed, hold him down, and fuck him.
No, when I got all hot and bothered, I reacquainted myself with my hand. Mostly in bed at night, hand tight around my dick while my nose was buried in the plushness of Ashton’s stuffed unicorn.
“Just stopped by to see if you were on break soon,” I said to him. “I’m going over to the park.”
Food trucks parked there, and some of them had the best unhealthy foods known to man. I felt for something easy and greasy. I’d pay the penalty for it later.
“Yeah, just give me five.”
“Man, a good-looking man comes by to pick you up for lunch, and you’re stalling?” The lady whose hair he was spritzing gave him a gentle push toward me. “I’m sure any of the gals wouldn’t mine polishing me up, but don’t miss your opportunity with this one.”
Dane laughed, his face red as he reached behind him to remove his smock. “It’s not like that at all,” he said as I brushed his hand aside to untie the smock for him. “We’re just good friends.”
“Ooh, lots of good things can happen with good friends,” the woman said, and everyone laughed.
I frowned, not liking the insinuation that we were together at all, but neither of us could convince them. In the end, Dane washed his hands, and we hurried from the shop.
“Don’t mind them,” he said as we walked beside each other. “Beauty shops are notorious for gossip and drama.”
“Ah, so that’s the real reason you like working there.” I laughed. “Thought you did it for the hair.”
He shoved my shoulder with his. “Okay, I admit sometimes the gossip gets really juicy, but that’s just a perk.”
“Tell me.”
“About what?”
“The most interesting gossip you heard today.”
He did while we walked over to the