in fact, a high school senior who’d been court mandated to AA meetings last year. He’d been sober for eight months, and although he didn’t have to attend anymore, he came every single day.
“Go ahead, Jodi.”
I tuned out Jodi, already anticipating some self-righteous story about another friend who tried to get him to drink and he resisted. One of the things I really hated about these AA meetings was how much they focused on me believing in a higher power.
For someone like me who wasn’t even certain there was a higher power out there, everything else just felt off.
The truth was that AA wasn’t working. Or maybe it worked a little. I couldn’t say. I still felt restless when I was at the meetings. I didn’t pay attention, I tuned people out, and I rebuffed every attempt made by anyone to befriend me.
Some of the stories got downright depressing. Last week one guy shared how his wife had left him and taken their kids. He reminded me of how pathetic I had been two weeks ago when I’d gone to Phil’s daughter’s birthday party. I hated the memory, though what had happened with Callum when I got home was all right.
He’d rubbed salve on my ass to lessen the pain. The next time, I vowed I’d be tough enough to take being smacked fourteen times with the wooden spatula.
I scrolled through my phone, relieved to have it back. My social media accounts were blowing up with all kinds of crazy challenges. I’d refrained from posting anything since getting back my phone, but every now and then, someone would ask what became of Ashton Keyes.
I guessed some of what they said was true. I was a college dropout. I was shacking up with an older man. That asshole reporter from the newspaper had gone right ahead and posted his story, sharing a picture of me kissing Callum in the restaurant. The bastard must’ve snapped the photo before he’d interrupted us.
Mother had been livid, but she held her position that I was cut off unless I went to the recovery center to get better. At times when these AA meetings got too much, I contemplated it. Just getting away from it all, but then I’d take one look at Callum and change my mind.
Callum was my strength. He was the one I could trust. I could believe his words when mine were all lies.
I needed him.
I couldn’t do this without him close by.
Maybe I had a sort of dependency thing going on with him, but I couldn’t risk it. Which was the reason I was sitting here in an AA meeting I wasn’t certain impacted me the way it did the others.
Callum and I had an understanding. He wouldn’t press me going to the recovery center in Texas if I continued AA.
I needed to do it for him, even if I didn’t want to.
At the end of the meeting, I jumped to my feet, ready to go. Callum would pick me up. I was almost out the door when Jodi stopped me.
“Hey there.”
I still hadn’t told anyone my name, although a few people must’ve recognized me by now. If they did, they respected my privacy by calling me nothing.
“Yes?”
“Thanks for coming tonight.”
I stared at him. Did someone make him PR or something for the center? He was so preppy. Would I ever get to this point where I was ridiculously happy even though I was battling an addiction? Not that I’d ever admit it out loud to anyone that I was addicted.
I just had a wee bit of trouble staying sober after one sip.
“I was wondering if you’d come to our dance party next week,” he said.
“Dance party?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “You guys have a party? Thought we weren’t supposed to drink.”
“It was mentioned at the end of the meeting.”
But of course I was scrolling through my phone and not listening. “Sorry.”
“We like to help a member celebrate a milestone.” He took a step back. “Erin’s been sober for ten years. That’s huge, and we’re going to make her feel good about it and encourage her to continue. Like a family. There will be no booze.”
“A party without booze?” I made a face. “I’ll pass.”
“All right, just think about it.”
He walked away, and I felt horrible for not even giving in a little, but it wasn’t enough guilt to make me change my mind. I hurried away before anyone else could intercept me on the way.
Just as always, Callum