and see if maybe it’ll be our last.”
Hank’s thick, silver eyebrow arched. “Oh? Why’s that?”
I cradled my pint between my hands. “I’m just tired of it. Running a business was fun for a long time. But the show changed a lot. I feel like I’m running a brand instead of a shop. There’s so much fucking office work, Hank. I’m in a chair at a desk for ten hours a day sometimes, talking to executives and lawyers and sponsors and Jesus…it’s exhausting.”
His hand slapped on the table and he leaned forward, looking earnest and confused. “You talk to Jesus?”
It took me a second, my brain remembering what I’d said. When it clicked into place, I laughed hard enough half the bar turned to stare. “Fuck you, Hank. I’m just tired. And not getting any younger.”
Before we could continue, I felt a presence hovering behind me. When I twisted in my chair, I saw two handsome men, maybe in their thirties, smiling at Hank and me.
“Hey,” one of them said, speaking up to be heard over the nineties rock and pop they played too loudly on Thursday nights. “You two might be here together, but we thought we’d check on the off chance that you were single and willing to let us buy you a round of drinks.”
Hank’s smile was megawatt bright. “You’ve made an old man’s heart happy, you whippersnappers. I’m catching up with a friend, but if you’re still around in an hour or so, I’ll come find you. Drinks can be on me.”
He looked at me expectantly; I’d been his wingman for too long. I shook my head. “I’m flattered, but no, thank you. However, I’m pretty sure there’s enough of Hank to share.”
The young men blushed hard, eyes darting to each other and then to Hank as if seriously considering a threesome. Then they smiled, nodded, and walked away with cute little waves.
“There is not enough of me to go around, you prick, unless you have one of those handy blue pills they prescribe us ancients.” Hank was mock glaring at me.
“You’re forty-five, Hank. You don’t need Viagra. Especially not with those two in bed with you. They looked willing to do most of the work, anyway—I bet they’re friends who’ve secretly wanted to bone each other for years. You’re giving them an excuse, and you’ll get a blowjob at the least out of the deal.”
We both chuckled and clinked our glasses. Hank said, “Remember when everyone thought we were banging? And we let them because you were dating that professor.”
My fingers tightened around the cold glass because Ian had been on my mind quite a bit lately with his proposal. “Yeah. Ian. That was a clusterfuck of a relationship. It took forever for me to realize that he was just using me and my work to build up more acclaim for himself, while making me keep our relationship hidden.”
“He also isolated you from your friends,” Ian added in mock accusation—though what he said was true.
“He knew how to make me feel… remarkable. And made everything interesting, even the most mundane parts of life. But it was only the things he wanted me to feel, when he wanted me to feel them. And I was only exposed to his world. Anything outside of it was off-limits to me, and it was just… so toxic.”
“At least you admit it now. Back then you were head over heels for the guy, and we were all waiting for the fallout. There was no way for a relationship like that to last.”
This gave me pause. I wondered if Hank meant a relationship where the power dynamics were too skewed or if he meant the age gap. Perhaps he meant both—or maybe it was the age gap that caused the power dynamics to be so skewed. Lord knew I’d spent hours agonizing over Channing, worrying about those exact same things. I was older and I was his boss. On paper, I looked just as predatory as Ian had been. But in reality?
I thought of Channing’s hooded, lust-filled eyes when he’d approached me in his office. Once again he’d proven that he held the power in our relationship, even though he let me feel like I was in charge. My heart was in his hands. Maybe that should have scared me, but it didn’t. I trusted him.
“Now, though, I need to know why you weren’t interested,” Hank said, eyebrows raised. “Those were some hot guys, and you usually at least hang through the