Prologue
Channing
The smell of the grill was in the air. Dane was trying something new with a huge pork shoulder, and whatever he’d done, it smelled incredible. But even as I lounged in a chair and watched him flirt with my brother, Chris, I couldn’t fully immerse myself in the celebratory spirit. My friends were all there, each practically hopping with palpable excitement over leaving for college soon. All of the crew members of Get Ink’d milled around, too, beers in hands and wide smiles on their faces.
Well, all except one — and he was the reason I was brooding when I should be having the time of my life.
Reagan.
I’d spent every night since my graduation party a couple months ago thinking about the feel of his lips on mine. The way his body had felt so large and strong and made for me to be pressed into. I’d worked for Get Ink’d for almost a year, learning every in and out and nuance of the business and the staff, and I’d been so fucking certain Reagan was every bit as attracted to me as I was to him.
I’d thought that we could have something now that I was eighteen and done with school.
But I’d thought wrong. When we’d been busted by my brother and Dane, Reagan had pushed me off like I was a gnat buzzing in his ear instead of a man exposing his heart. The rejection didn’t just sting — it fucking wrecked me, and that should have helped me get over him. Instead, it had made my desire for him deepen while weighing me down with bitterness.
So I appreciated the balloons and the well wishes sending me off to college, the gifts to make my dorm room feel homier, and the sheer amount of people I now had in my life who were true friends, who only wanted the best for me. I never expected to go to college. Or to have a family like I do now. And I appreciated it all. I really did. But that didn’t stop me from agonizing over the one piece that was missing.
“You are brooding, my brother, and that I cannot abide.” Dane pointed his tongs at me in a mock-menacing manner. “Turn that frown upside down or I will embarrass you in front of everyone you know.”
I rolled my eyes but got out of the chair I’d been slumped in. “You’re always embarrassing me, Dane. Like, every moment of every day.”
He laughed and winked. “What can I say? Some of us are born with a surplus of talent. But really, why so blue, Panda Bear? You are a—”
I waved him off. “I am not a buffet of manliness. Get out of here, you crazy man.”
Christian joined us, a wry smile in place. “Dane, leave poor Channing alone. He’s about to venture forth in the world, sowing his seed and making his mark—”
I felt the heat creeping up even as I choked down laughter. “Both of you are the worst. You know that, right? The absolute worst.”
They laughed, they kissed, I gagged—and suddenly, I felt a hell of a lot better. I wanted that kind of love for myself, but I also wanted to try and figure out who I was supposed to be. In a year’s time, I’d gone from a teenage fuck-up destined for prison to attending college with Christian’s financial support and dreams of becoming a social worker. There was so much I hadn’t experienced because I’d been too busy living on the streets and taking care of myself. And there were plenty of experiences from that life I was ready to forget and move past.
College would do that for me. Even though I’d hoped to have college and Reagan, at least I still had this.
So I pushed Reagan back to a small corner of my mind and went to hang out with my friends. I listened while they talked with animated hands and exuberant joy about future roommates and majors, the parties they were looking forward to and the classes they’d signed up for. It felt good to be a part of something so normal, especially knowing that it hadn’t been guaranteed. I’d earned it.
Dane whooped across the yard, and I saw he was doing some kind of dance he called “the egg beater.” Chris was shaking his head and hiding his face.
Okay, so I’d earned it with some help. Even if no one would believe that my older brother and his crazy-ass fiancé were capable of