And mostly because it took no longer than three minutes to get me there.
“Good,” he said, never wavering his movements. “Breathe, baby,” he then instructed when I unconsciously held my breath. Once I released the oxygen I had held in my chest, he crushed his mouth to mine, kissed me like our lives depended on it, and he gave me the best orgasm I’d had in a very, very long time.
It worked. Ryder managed to settle the beast that had been clawing within me. I had tried to give him some relief as well, knowing he had been worked up from my release, but he wouldn’t have it.
After we dressed, he in the same clothes he’d had on yesterday, we walked around the corner to a clothing store, where he purchased a few pairs of shorts, T-shirts, and underwear to keep at my place. A quick change later and there we were, walking along the beach hand in hand, reminiscing about our sex life.
“Is this conversation making things worse for you?” I asked when we planted ourselves on the powdery sand to watch the surf.
“Yes.”
I giggled at his one-word, emotionless response. “We can remedy that, you know.”
“I know. Eventually.” He wrapped an arm around me before adding, “I’m just counting my blessings right now, Ree. If someone had said to me a few weeks ago I’d be here with you, I wouldn’t have believed it.”
“Yeah, me neither. Weird how things happen.” I went silent, trying to formulate what I’d been meaning to ask him since Cooper had left earlier. He seemed fine with the fact I could be pregnant as we spoke, but was he really? Ryder always had the ability to hide any worry or angst from me. I knew why he did, but sometimes it’d been frustrating to not know what he truly had been thinking.
A prime example was the way he had kept to himself how much he wanted me to move with him to California. That had been a shock to hear, mainly because I probably would have. Of course, hindsight was twenty-twenty, and he was right in his assumption at that point in my life I had been happy and content for the first time in a long time. But it had a lot to do with him.
I had been madly in love with him, and it hurt that he would think otherwise… that he would assume I’d rather be apart than give up my life to be with him. In his defense, I could have easily volunteered to go. I knew Ryder loved me. However, I’d worried he needed space and that was the real reason he hadn’t asked me to move.
Obviously, that was a dumb assumption. We were both idiots.
After a few long moments of silence, he asked, “What’s going through that beautiful head of yours?”
“I was just thinking how our relationship was almost perfect.”
“Almost?” he challenged with a raised brow.
Not wanting to make the same mistakes this time around, I nodded. “Yeah… almost. There was one thing we weren’t good at.” He waited out my pause. “Communication.”
Ryder held my gaze for a few seconds before turning toward the ocean. “You’re right.”
“We didn’t mean to hold things from each other,” I tried to placate. “I think in wanting to avoid hurting each other, we ended up doing just that.”
He brought his eyes back to mine and squeezed me closer. “I’m sorry, Ree. I really am.” His remorse broke my heart.
“It’s not all you, Ryder. I didn’t want to be that girl. The one that said to choose me. I also didn’t know if you needed to go for other reasons than just the opportunity. But in trying to be supportive and encouraging, I now realize how it may have looked like indifference to you.”
“I really wasn’t focused on that as much as my own issue. I worried by telling you to come with me, you would have. And I’d never know if it stemmed from guilt, or, as you said, to avoid hurting me.”
“The regret that comes from our stupidity could easily cast a shadow on us going forward.” I shifted just a bit to turn toward him. “So I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” he answered easily.
“We can’t make the same mistake this time. We need to say what we feel, no matter how much it may hurt to hear.”
Those gorgeous blue eyes drilled into mine. “I promise.” He then pressed his lips to my temple for a chaste kiss. “I