and they pierced into mine with the pain of a man who had lost his best friend and didn’t really know why.
“What happened between you two?” I whispered, my heart hammering wildly. And why hasn’t Phil told me any of this?
“I think there’s a lot that I’m ashamed of, and I’m scared that when you find out what I’ve done, you’ll be ashamed of me, too. Enough to want to have nothing to do with me ever again.” Phil’s half-tortured confession echoed through my mind.
“A horrible misunderstanding.” Devon’s voice was strained.
Shit was not adding up here.
Before I could get any more info, Devon got yanked back and thrown, and there stood Phil, shaking with his fury. His eyes pinned mine, and he saw it in me, that I knew something.
“Fuck!” he bellowed.
Spinning, he looked for Devon, who it seemed had been thrown into a wall.
Phil stormed over and hauled the smaller—though not by much—man up and pinned him by his throat to the wall. “I fuckin’ told you, motherfucker!”
Devon wasn’t even trying to fight back. He just looked into Phil’s face, a defeated sad vibe rolling off him. Spurred into action—as much shit as Phil might be ashamed of, murder wasn’t on that list—I hurried over and pulled on Phil’s arm.
“Phil, stop it!” I cried, tugging. “Don’t do this!”
“What did you tell her?” he roared.
“He can’t speak if you’re strangling him! Put him down!”
He dropped Devon to the floor, and the poor guy just stared up at Phil. Reaching up, he pulled the mask off his face, and the look in his eyes…I thought it was heartbreak. He loved Phil even though he had just ended up half-strangled by him. He loved the goodness and purity that had always been inside of Phil, missed the man who had once been his best friend.
“I need to talk to you,” Devon rasped.
“There ain’t nothin’ you have to say that I wanna hear,” snarled Phil. “Next time you come near my woman, or any person I give a shit about, I will beat you to within an inch of your fuckin’ life.”
“Please, Phil—” Devon pleaded.
Ignoring him, Phil turned to me. The fact that I knew shit he never wanted me to know was between us, erecting like a massive wall. I was fucking furious. And he was terrified.
“I think there are a few things you need to explain to me,” I told him, keeping my voice low and soft, but it just came out menacing.
“What did he tell you?”
“You really want to discuss this here?”
He shook his head. “No. Can we get out of here then?”
I nodded and looked down at Devon, who was watching the exchange between us. His eyes shifted to mine, begging me to forgive him for saying anything, begging me to forgive Phil for whatever I might hear.
“Are you okay, Devon?” I crouched down.
Phil tried to stop me by clamping his hand on my shoulder. I slapped it away.
“Kenna—”
“I’m a fucking doctor, Phil! I have to make sure he’s all right before we leave, got it?”
“I’m fine,” Devon’s voice croaked.
“Are you having difficulty breathing? Does your throat feel swollen?”
“No. I’m okay, I promise.”
“Is it sore at all?”
He shook his head. “Just…go.” His eyes shifted to Phil. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you. Come on, Kenna.”
The eyes I looked into were not the eyes of a dangerous man. They were the eyes of a man who was desperate to set things right, and he had reached out to me to heal a rift. If it were possible for me to do so, I would try. I stood and allowed Phil to pull me from the room. Everyone was staring at us with Mike Stacy at the front of the group. It took me a second to realize that the music had stopped.
“Is everything okay, man?” Mike asked, a little on the twitchy side.
“It’s cool. Kenna and I are headin’ out.”
Mike nodded. “Yeah, all right—”
“Sorry about all that,” said Phil, not really sounding sorry at all.
“No worries, man. It’s all good.”
Phil nodded, and we headed out with everyone just…watching us. I had the feeling Lili had run off to find Alys and let her know what was going on. Normally, I would be wondering if they would be all right, and I would be finding ways to reassure them that I was okay. But all I could think was Devon’s voice asking me, over and over again, “Has he punished you for breaking his heart at all?”
Phil used to rough women up for me