around me blurs and the noise becomes unbearable. I lift my hands to cover my ears, but Callum latches on to me, and crushes my arm to his body.
Panic that is not mine floods through me. I can feel Beck pacing the perimeter of the crowd. I know he’s there, torturing himself. For both our sakes, he needs to stop this.
Don’t watch. Please, I beg him in my mind.
His misery latches onto me. If I felt more stable, I’d try to overrun his emotions, but I’m barely holding myself together. I have nothing to give him.
I told you I wouldn’t leave you. His voice shakes, matching the sputtering of my heart.
Guards surround me, and the extra security Mother’s hired for our short walk to the Binding Hall forms a line of protection between the crowd and me. I dig my heels into the ground, forcing Callum to half-drag me down the front steps.
“You’re going to have to do better if you want this to look believable,” my brother hisses.
The closer we come to the sidewalk, the more I stiffen and pull against him.
“Walk, Lark. Or I’ll have Annalise make you.”
We turn onto the sidewalk. People pack each side and jostle for position. Newscaster cameras buzz just over our heads, focusing their all-seeing eyes on me.
How I behave, right now, will be on every wallscreen within seconds. The ceremony may only be for show, but to the State and the non-witch population, this binding is for real. Forever. Until either Ryker or I die. And I need to sell it.
Please, Beck, don’t hate me.
I lift my heavy arm and wave listlessly to the crowd. I pray they take me for a typical nervous girl and not the reluctant victim I am.
We turn left, away from the Presidio, and the bitter wind flutters my dress around my legs. Kyra had wanted to cast a warming spell on me, to keep me from freezing in my strapless dress and sheer wrap, but I refused. I need to feel something—even if it’s just the icy sting of early spring on my skin. I need to know I can still hurt.
That I’m still me and not a cruel, heartless monster.
My arm tingles beneath Callum’s constricting grip.
Four more blocks. That’s all there is between my future and me.
Three blocks.
Celebratory bells ring out when we reach the top of the final block.
Suddenly, something yanks at my heart and sends it thudding against my ribcage. It whirls like it’s trying to escape and blood rushes through my ears, drowning out the sounds of the crowd around me.
I swing my gaze to the left. Beck, disguised as Tom, stands just beyond the wall. His unfamiliar dark eyes are locked on me and his face drained of color.
Don’t do this to yourself, I say.
He takes two steps forward, in my direction. His voice fills my mind. I can’t let you do this.
I’m drowning in his pain. Air rushes from my lungs and I gasp. The crowd falls silent as my legs shake and collapse beneath me. Callum doesn’t try to break my fall.
“Are you okay?” Kyra asks as she frantically lifts me to my feet. “Can you walk? Should I get a healer?”
Annalise pushes herself into my line of vision. Her wristlet chirps and beeps as she scans my data. I close my eyes and rock back and forth while Kyra holds me upright.
“I can’t go on.” My voices cracks. “I thought I could, but I can’t.”
My sister-in-law brings her piercing blue eyes within inches of mine. “You can and you will.” Her face softens. “Please, Lark. If not for you, for the rest of us. Do this to keep us safe. Do your duty.”
My shoulders slump and I dart my eyes back toward Beck. Heartbreak fills the soft lines of the middle-aged face he’s assumed.
We could run. Desperation oozes from his words. Meet me at Kyra’s?
I draw a deep breath and shake my head.
His face falls and the air around him shimmers.
Next to me, Annalise inhales sharply and her fingers curl around my wrist, cutting off the flow of blood. “Keep your head up. Smile. And walk.”
I lift my chin but don’t make any effort to move.
She leans in so that only I can hear her words. “If you don’t, I’ll tell Malin where Beck is. And that, dear sister, won’t be pretty.”
#
The ceremony is a blur of words and blessings. Ryker pushes a silver band over my knuckle and we stare at each other, neither of us willing