And what am I doing? Sitting around waiting for Annalise to fetch me and help Mother bind me off to Ryker.
I crawl under the fluffy down comforter and pull it up to my neck.
“Is everything okay?” Annalise asks.
I startle. My sister-in-law studies me from across the room with a look of curiosity. “Are you crying?”
Tears I didn’t know I had spill down my face and I flick them away. “Nerves,” I lie.
Annalise’s ruby red lips part into a kind smile. “It’s normal to be afraid. I couldn’t stop shaking when I was bound to Callum.” She pauses, as if she’s said too much. “Before I forget, best wishes.”
With my necklace twisted into my palm, I groan and sink deeper into the pillows. When I was ten, I used to pretend I was eleven. And when I was thirteen, I wanted nothing more than to be fifteen. At seventeen, I dreamed of turning eighteen, earning a place in the State, and starting my life with Beck.
I suppose I should be satisfied with two out of three.
She dips her head. “It’s going to be okay. You may not love him, but you’ll learn.”
“What did my mother promise you, Annalise?” I ask sharply. “What is it that makes you so committed to my family? Surely you don’t love Callum. How could you? He’s insufferable and cruel to you.”
A flush creeps across her cheeks. “It was an honor to be selected as Callum’s mate.”
I rub my eyes. “An honor to be paired with a weak Light witch?”
“Your brother is handsome. And joining this family gave me opportunities I would not have had.”
“Did Mother threaten you? Because I remember something. From your binding. You were with someone. In the garden. A man. And you were very upset.”
“That is none of your business.” Annalise reaches down and tries yanking the covers away, but I ball them into my fist and refuse to let go. She huffs. “Now get up. Girls all over the State would love to exchange places with you. You should feel grateful.”
“Grateful? I’m under surveillance all day long. I can’t have a moment alone without someone barging in on me or listening to my feed.”
“Small sacrifices for the greater good.”
I clench my jaw. What she says is true. My binding is important for the morale of the society. People have been lining up along the procession route since yesterday.
Annalise tugs at the covers again and they slide off me. She gasps at the sight of my naked body and tosses the duvet back over me. When she recovers, she raises her eyebrows and says in an amused voice, “What’s this?”
I blush as I search for an acceptable answer.
Annalise taps at her wristlet and her mouth drops open. “Was Ryker here?” Her eyes grow large. “Don’t even try to lie. I pulled up your wristlet data. What were the two of you thinking? You know the protocol.” She digs in her satchel and tosses a small packet of pills to me. “Take this.”
“What is it?” I ask, studying the pearl-colored pills.
“Something that will make sure you aren’t a mother in nine months.”
“Oh.” My cheeks blaze. I hadn’t even considered that possibility.
She hands me a glass of water and lowers her voice. “Don’t tell Malin I have those, okay?”
My minds whirls. Why would Annalise have something like this? She’s supposed to have children with Callum just like I’m supposed to have children with Ryker. Surely, this can’t be legal.
The pills sit on my upturned palm.
“I’m not trying to poison you, Lark,” Annalise says softly. “They won’t even make you feel sick. I promise.”
I nod and swallow a pill in one gulp.
“I guess we don’t have to worry about your compatibility with Ryker anymore.” My sister-in-law chuckles, and it makes my face grow even hotter. If she only knew who was actually with me last night, she wouldn’t be so giddy.
Beck kissed me on our birthday as the bell tolled. He slept in my arms until I sent him away. And I didn’t kill him.
There’s still hope.
Except, in a few hours, Ryker and I will exchange tokens. Something new to wear instead of my necklace. A replacement.
As if anyone could ever replace Beck.
“Now get up. We have things to do,” Annalise says.
The lights in my room flicker on. Annalise speaks rapidly into her wristlet. “Send Michaela and James in.”
I’ve barely processed what she’s said when two humans I’ve never met appear in the doorway.
I scurry to the end of the bed and gather the blankets to