eighteen. Tomorrow, I will be bound to a boy who was once Beck’s friend and who hates me. I wonder if he’ll ever be able to forgive me for what I did to Lena.
I reach into my pocket and feel the familiar cool, metal of my necklace. Not even it can comfort me tonight. The scars of my heart bleed raw and for the first time, I allow the tears to pour down my face and don’t bother to hide my sobs. I don’t care anymore.
Oh, Beck. Snot bubbles in my nose and I sniff it away. They can make me not say your name and pretend you don’t exist, but they can’t stop my thoughts.
My head rolls against the side of the chair and I close my eyes. Maybe sleep isn’t such a terrible thing after all.
All my life, my day has started and ended with you. Always you.
Like every other night, there’s no answer. Just more endless static.
#
Something soft brushes my jaw and I yawn. Darkness obscures everything, but I can see the shadowy outline of a man standing over me. I rub my eyes and squint. Surely it’s too early for my guards to wake me?
The man kneels down before me and his fingers grasp each side of the armchair I’ve fallen asleep in, trapping me. Even in my half-awake state, I know neither Dawson nor Oliver would approach me like this. My heart whirls into fight mode and I pull my arms into my chest, palms facing out, ready to strike.
“Shhh. It’s me.” Ryker’s familiar voice surprises me.
I startle but don’t drop my hands. If he’s as upset as he was earlier, who knows what he’ll do. “Why are you here?”
In an oddly intimate gesture, he gently places two fingers over my mouth and uncurls his other hand in the direction of the fireplace. A fire immediately roars to life. When he drops his fingers from my lips, they tingle. “I know you love the cold, but I can see my breath.”
My mind struggles to wake up and make sense of what’s happening. Ryker is in my room, in the middle of the night. Seemingly no longer upset. How did he sneak past my…
Kyra. She’s on duty tonight. Damn it.
“She’s hoping for a love connection.” He lets out a low laugh. “Anyway, it wasn’t too hard to convince her. I told her I needed to talk to you about what happened. In private.”
I draw my brows together. Maybe I misread him. Maybe what I mistook for hatred was actually interest? It’s not like I have a ton of experience with boys.
“Ryker,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry about that. You have to believe me. I can’t always control myself, but I’m trying.”
“I know you are.”
“You have to go. If my mother finds you here, she’ll be irate. It’s improper to see me the night before the binding, remember?”
To my surprise, he reaches out and strokes my cheek. The energy in my body hums to life and I suddenly feel wide awake. Everything is crisper, more tangible. Amplified.
You can hear me, can’t you?
My eyes grow wide. I…I don’t want to say it out loud. If I’m wrong…
I clench my hands against my whirling, vibrating heart. He takes a step back, then another. Behind him the fire roars and casts a yellow glow around him. A beautiful golden hue that I’ve only seen once before.
His image blurs. Then flickers. And then…
Beck stands before me, his dimple and grin lighting up the room.
“I heard you crying. I can’t let you do this alone. Not tonight,” Beck says. His eyes are on fire, burning right through me until every nerve in my body is electrified. His blond hair hangs a little longer across his eyes than the last time I saw him, but it only makes me want to run my fingers through it even more.
“You heard me?”
Beck slips off his wristlet and I do the same. He tosses them both into the bedside table before answering me. “I’ve never not heard you, but I thought it would be better to have a clean break. I thought it would be easier for you. Didn’t work so well, did it?”
I push on his chest. “You can’t be here. It’s too dangerous. What I did yesterday is horrible and I could do it again.”
“It can be fixed. Lena will be fine.” Beck wraps his arms around me and lifts me out of the chair so we’re face to face, our noses touching.
“God, I’ve