do? Scamper back to Ashkar, settle down with a caravan of herders, and pretend I didn’t abandon you?”
“Do you realize what you’re asking of me? I have no interest in being the bait Temujin uses to manipulate you. I won’t be able to live with myself.”
“Neither will I!”
“Please, Enebish.” Serik’s voice is a frayed whisper. “Go. Before you do something you can’t take back.”
I shake my head so vehemently, my hair comes unbound and snarls across my face. “I don’t have a clue how to leave this place, even if I wanted to.”
“If you care for me at all, you’ll find a way.”
“If you care for me at all, you won’t ask me to! And this isn’t just about us. What if the Shoniin are telling the truth about the Protected Territories and the war front?” I’ve been so focused on saving Serik and Orbai, I hadn’t given much consideration to this possibility until the words tumble out of my mouth.
“What?” Serik gapes at me as if I just spoke Verdenese. “You can’t possibly believe their propaganda.”
“I don’t.” At least I don’t think I do. “But Temujin was right about you being sent to Gazar. And you haven’t seen the horrible conditions on the grazing lands. Maybe some good could come from me going on one of these missions? It would allow me to survey the war front and speak with soldiers. If the empire is truly as corrupt as Temujin claims, I want to help the people. And this is the only way we’ll know definitively who to trust.”
“Find other ways to help. In our realm. That don’t require treason.”
“There are no other ways. We’re trapped.”
The door whines open and Temujin strides into the shack. “I hate to break up this joyful reunion….” The way he glances between me and Serik leaves no doubt he heard every word of our argument. “But Enebish has a commitment to fulfill.”
“Now?” I curse the blasted tremble in my voice—and how it cements Serik’s unyielding expression. “You’ve only just returned from retrieving Serik. Don’t you need to rest and—”
“War waits for no one. It’s time to see what you can do.” Temujin holds the door open and motions me through. “We only have a week to prepare you for your first mission.”
“Please, Enebish,” Serik calls as I trudge out into the sunlight. “At least consider what I said.”
“Fine,” I relent. He’ll scream himself hoarse and shatter his bones against the prison bars if I don’t. And I do keep my word. I give his ridiculous request careful consideration as I descend all three steps leading out of the shack.
There. Promise kept.
Decision made.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“WHERE ARE WE GOING?” I SNAP AT TEMUJIN.
He waves toward the hill. “The Temple of Serenity.”
I charge across the clearing, as fast as my injuries will allow. I have to bite down hard on my tongue every time my bad leg meets the ground.
“Wait, Enebish. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“You’re forcing me to use my power against my will. How else can it be?”
“I’m not forcing you. We made a deal.”
I laugh bitterly. “Only because you gave me no choice.”
“We always have a choice,” Temujin insists. “It’s no fault of mine if you can’t bear the alternative. Sometimes morals must be bent for the greater good.”
Easy to say when you had no morals to begin with, I’m tempted to mutter, but that’s not entirely true. Temujin’s fighting relentlessly for the shepherds and the people in the Protected Territories. It’s his methods that are less than honorable.
Temujin falls in stride with me. His gaze is so incessant, the side of my face burns like I’m standing too close to a bonfire, but I keep my eyes fixed ahead and raise my anger like a shield.
The closer we draw to the temple, the faster my heart pumps. Blood drums against the front of my skull, and my fingers tap an anxious rhythm against my thighs. I’m not ready to call the night again. When I rescued Orbai, the blackout swallowed far more of Sagaan than I intended. The monster was so close to overtaking me. Not to mention, Serik will be furious. And Ghoa …
She will never forgive me. I’ll officially become a traitor.
I lunge forward, moving even faster. As if I can somehow outrun all of this.
“I really am sorry,” Temujin says when we reach the temple, “but it isn’t personal. War requires a certain degree of ruthlessness. You know that. I’m only doing what I must to save the