hyperventilate as worst-case scenarios pile up in my mind: They hurt her, imprisoned her. Killed her.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask as Chanar shoves me up the steps. “You are Ashkarian, yet you’re in league with Kartok and the Zemyans. Why?”
Chanar slams my head against the floor so viciously, it creates fissures in the mosaic sky identical to the chasms overhead. Gray dots explode across my vision and blood wets the back of my hair.
“Because this is justice.”
“I know the Sky King wronged you, but you realize you’re condemning an entire country, not one wicked king.”
“You know nothing of it,” Chanar spits out. “This will be better for everyone. The hope of this revolution is the only thing that kept me and Inkar alive those five years in prison. This is what she died for.” He slams my head against the ground again, even harder, and vanishes in the haze of darkness that falls over my eyes like a curtain.
I lie belly up for what feels like hours. Days. Haunted by nightmares. Hounded by memories. Taunted by a deception I was too blind and stubborn to see.
Something feels off.
Serik warned me so many times. Even without a Kalima power, and despite never having worshiped the Lady of the Sky, he could feel it.
As I should have.
As I did.
This damnable buzzing and constant scraping at my energy feels like leeches wriggling beneath my skin. It has from the moment I crossed into this realm. As soon as I touched this cursed stone altar, I knew in my bones it didn’t feel right. But I was so desperate to save Orbai and Serik, and eager to be in the realm of the Eternal Blue among others who believed as I did. I was so desperate to be a warrior, I was willing to overlook the signs.
Serik was right to leave. To question my judgment.
And Ghoa may have been wrong about many things, but she was right about this—as much as it pains me to admit.
Ashkar will fall because of him.
And I didn’t listen because I didn’t think anyone else could betray me so completely. By the time our battalions at the war front learn Sagaan is under attack, the city will be lost. Because I brought these termites into our home.
I gaze across the ever-shifting landscape—the sky split with spiderwebs of black and the fields blooming one second then wilting the next—and scream for Orbai. But still she doesn’t come. I suppose I don’t blame her.
I do, however, blame the Lady of the Sky.
“Why would you allow this to happen?” I mutter up at the insidious blue. I know this isn’t Her realm. The true realm of the Eternal Blue is probably worlds away—if it exists at all. But I shout anyway, just in case She can hear. “I was going about your work. You confirmed this was the right course, but it clearly isn’t. Am I nothing but a mockery to you?
“Or are you a liar?” I say in a quiet, accusatory voice. “Or maybe you’re not there at all. Maybe the Sky King is right and you never have been.”
Part of me wants it to be true. But my pathetic, loyal heart cries out at the wrongness of these claims. The core of who I am, the innermost essence of Enebish, has always been and will always be intrinsically tied to the sky. As much as I want to deny every last shred of my faith, I can’t. Because the Lady of the Sky lives inside me. Denying Her would be denying myself. One cannot exist without the other. This probably makes me foolish and na?ve, but it also makes me me.
“Why?” I shout again. “If you’re with me, why?”
Footsteps crunch through the grass.
I stifle my cries and incline my head. Temujin makes his way slowly up the hill. Livid bruises still encircle his neck like a collar, and he walks with a limp that resembles mine. But he’s walking. And he’s clad in a fresh gray tunic and breeches, his boots polished to a high shine.
“You’re looking remarkably well for someone who nearly died,” I snap.
He trudges up the stone steps and leans against a jade pillar. “Allying with sorcerers has its benefits,” he says quietly, staring at his boots.
“The first truthful words from your lips. Have you come to gloat? To laugh at the poor, stupid girl you tricked into aiding you?”
“Does it look like I’m gloating?” He drags a hand through his damp hair and I