just plain incompetent.
I hit the jackpot when I found Cheryl Robins. The older black woman is a mother of three, grandmother of five and guards my office like a mother hen. She also makes a mean cup of coffee and has a no-nonsense demeanor that keeps me in line.
She’s been married to her high school sweetheart for the past thirty years otherwise I would have gotten down on one knee and proposed by now.
“Mr. Lavin. You have a package.”
When she sees that I’m on a call, she puts a finger to her lips and then places the mail carefully on the edge of the desk within my reach. I wave as she tiptoes out.
I almost want to tell her not to bother. It’s not like I’m paying attention in this meeting anyway. I should be. This is my pet project.
But instead my mind is on the engagement party.
Ariana.
The woman who has haunted my dreams for the past two years. I was angry at first, of course. Part of that was ego. What man wants to be left on a date without a word?
That’s just rude.
But underneath the surface level anger, I’d been hurt. The connection I’d felt to her instantly was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It’s the kind of thing you can’t understand unless you’ve met someone who knocks you on your ass from day one.
But as the months went by, I kept my promise to myself. I wasn’t pining away for her. I lived my life with the dial set to maximum. There wasn’t an opportunity I’d left unexplored or a moment I’d let go to waste. Our business has only grown and increased its market share. I’m proud of the life I’ve built and yes, I’ve dated here and there.
And all of it didn’t mean a damn the moment I saw her again.
Underneath it all, that thing that connects us is still there. She was frosty, no doubt expecting me to call her out for ghosting me. However, time has dulled my anger and brought me to a new understanding. Despite what happened in the past, today is a new day. And each new day is another chance to show her how good we could be together.
It’s so fun to watch heat climb her cheeks every time I pay her a compliment. Or every time I piss her off. Both are amusing.
Planning this joint bachelor party is going to be very interesting, that’s for sure.
With a sigh, I pick up the box on the top of the pile of mail. I use my letter opener to slit the tape holding the box closed. There’s white paper taped over the contents. As soon as I peel back the tape, the contents explode upward, a volley of bright shapes springing in every direction.
“What the–”
I touch my nose gingerly where one of the plastic things hit the tip. My desk is now covered in glitter and on the floor… are those what I think they are? I lean down to pick up the item that hit me in the nose.
When I stand back up, I’m holding a large red dildo.
“Philippe, what was that?”
“Are you okay?”
“Is that a–”
I slap at the keyboard frantically to end the meeting. The screen freezes for a second, showing several confused faces.
Leaning down, I grab at the brightly colored penises all over the floor. After a minute, I line them all up on my desk. There are about ten in total, some smaller and probably novelty items while there are a few big ones with controls that actually look functional.
All at once, I lose it.
Just imagining how the executives in our company reacted to seeing me get hit with a dick bomb makes me laugh until my sides hurt. I’m still wiping away tears of laughter when Cheryl comes in again. She looks at my messy desk in confusion.
“Is everything all right, Mr. Lavin? I heard something–” She halts when her eyes land on the array of pleasure poles on my desk.
“I just got a delivery from a friend. It’s … a modern art display from a new European artist. Quite provocative, isn’t it?”
She puts a hand to her chest. “It is very striking.
As soon as the door closes behind her I fall back in my chair laughing again.
Well played, my little devil.
Ariana loves to do these strange things but she’s not fooling me. The woman I talked to in the bar wasn’t flighty or ditzy at all. She was insightful and thoughtful and had a