a big believer in destiny guiding our paths.
Now I understand what he meant. When you meet the right woman, she rules your heart. Except my girl is more likely to rule the underworld.
A queen of darkness and mischief.
Much more my speed.
“You thought this would scare me off?”
“No. I just wanted to see if you could get a little messy.”
“Why would you think I couldn’t?”
“Seriously? You wore a cashmere sweater to the grocery store.”
That makes me laugh.
“In my defense, my brother was giving me nothing but soup and crackers. He was basically starving me. I had to escape. I would have pulled on anything if it meant getting some real food.”
That makes her relax a bit. Watching her walls come down little by little is a fascinating process. She has this way about her, as if she’s braced for disappointment at all times.
It’s probably second nature by now the way she deflects people’s interest with sarcasm to keep them from getting too close. But then once she lets you in, it’s like basking in the sun. The warmth of her attention makes me feel brand new.
“At least you have a brother to take care of you. I always wished I had a sibling. I mean, I have siblings but we didn’t grow up together. So it’s not the same.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t have wished for it if you’d seen how he tormented me when we were children. He once told me La Befana wouldn’t bring me any presents if I didn’t do exactly as he said. He had me hopping on one leg and howling like a wolf all day before our mother figured it out.”
“La Befana?”
“In Italy, there are many different tales about her but in essence she’s an old woman who brings gifts to the good children and leaves a lump of coal for the bad ones. Many people wander the streets dressed like her right after the New Year.”
“It sounds like fun. I was always going back and forth between my parents for the holidays so I don’t have that many fun memories. My dad was married several times before he met my mom so I mainly have memories of awkward family pictures with the half-siblings I don’t know well.”
“I’m sorry. That sounds pretty dismal.”
“It was. But my roommate loves Christmas so I get a nice dose of Santa and his reindeer every year. That’s something.”
“Somehow I could see you being into Christmas. I think you like a little magic more than you let on.”
She smiles and the sight punches me right in the chest.
“Tell me more about you. Anything.”
Her smile falters slightly and I clear my throat. I have to remember not to come on too strong. She’s been so adamant about not getting serious. If she knows how affected I am, she might walk out.
“Um, well you already know I’m a nurse. What do you do?”
“I work in fashion. I head the international division of a major fashion label. But I don’t want to talk about work.”
“Right. Let’s not talk about work.” She fiddles with the salt shaker on the table.
I have to think of something to get her to relax otherwise she’s going to start pouring that salt and brewing a spell to get rid of me.
“So, who usually watches your son when you go out?”
That makes her smile. “He’s usually unsupervised.”
“That sounds a little irresponsible.”
“Well, he enjoys his solitude. Like his mother.”
“I can understand that. I enjoy my solitude as well. But every once in a while, it’s nice to let someone in.”
Our eyes meet and for a moment, I can see the same desire and longing I feel reflected back.
“I’m starting to see that.”
“Ariana–”
She stands abruptly. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”
7
I splash a little bit of water on my face, trying to cool the flush in my cheeks. Why does he affect me more than anyone else? He’s just a guy.
A gorgeous guy.
A guy who listens.
A guy who makes me want to see him again.
Thinking about it makes my hands shake. Would it really be the worst thing in the world to give a relationship a try? Yes, the timing isn’t great. But if anyone is aware of how fucked up this world can be, it’s me. Bad things happen to good people and nothing ever turns out the way I hope.
Maybe this is my chance to take something for myself. To tell fate to shove it and that I’m going to grab the happiness I deserve. All he’s