the endless sorrow that hit after.
I rested my palms on the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
Maybe I’d been lying to myself all this time, thinking I was over it. That I’d healed and moved on. I’d been with Vivian, hadn’t I?
But that was different, purely physical. She didn’t share a place in my heart.
And I was making room for Becky, in a place that Natalie had once taken residence.
Problem was, Natalie was still very much present even though I’d thought I’d closed that chapter years ago.
Chapter 28
Becky
I was staring at the ceiling, wondering how much time had passed. It wasn’t hours, but it felt like it. The door to the bathroom was still shut. And now, as I lay naked and waiting in his bed, I wondered what was going on.
When he finally emerged, he had boxers on and one hand on his hip, his gaze toward the ground. I pushed myself to my elbows.
“So …” He scratched his head, still not meeting my eyes. “This is embarrassing. But …” He was no longer hard.
While my lady parts wept, I sat up, meeting his stare, smiling because I didn’t want to make an awkward situation more awkward. “Too much excitement for one day? Maybe we should just call it a night.” I moved further up the bed to the headboard and patted the spot beside me.
His eyebrows pulled together, and his gaze teetered back to the ground.
Well, shit. This can’t be good.
Maybe I was reading this situation all wrong. I shouldn’t have assumed that I was allowed in his bed, right? My jaw locked. Talk about throwing me all kinds of weird, crazy, mixed signals. My cheeks flamed as I moved off of the bed, taking the sheet with me, remembering that I was naked.
“Where are you going?” The worry was heavy in his tone.
“To my room.”
I exhaled loudly, but just as I made it to the door, he advanced toward me and gripped my wrist, forcing me to face him.
“Don’t go.” His shoulders slumped as he stepped into me, his eyes downturned.
I sighed and tugged my arm back so that I could readjust my sheet and hold it against myself. I suddenly felt too exposed. “What’s wrong, Charles? One minute, you’re hot and heavy, and the next, you’re icy cold.”
I tried to read the emotion behind his eyes, but they were guarded, unreadable.
My voice quivered as I asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
“Of course not.” Panic settled in his features.
“Is this happening way too fast?”
His hands went to my waist, pulling me in. It was then, as I met his chocolate eyes, that I read the emotion swimming in them. He was scared. And here I’d thought, I was the only one afraid of this new relationship.
My fingers brushed the light stubble at his chin. “What’s wrong? You can tell me.”
“Nothing.” His voice trailed off, his gaze drifting to somewhere over my shoulder. “I don’t think it’s happening too fast. Or maybe it is.” He laughed without humor. “Now, I’m not making any sense.” He shook his head and pulled me further into the room until we were both sitting on the edge of his bed. “I’m not used to this, Becky. Sharing my thoughts, my kids, my life with someone else who isn’t”—he exhaled heavily—“Natalie.”
In that moment, I understood him, where he was coming from. We were both scared but for totally different reasons. I was scared of getting hurt again, and he was scared of letting go.
I wrapped both hands firmly around his neck. “We’re both afraid of what’s happening between us. Maybe because it seems like it’s too good to be true. But”—I exhaled, deeply, meeting his eyes firmly—“I’d like to believe that we deserve happiness. That everything we’ve gone through was enough trauma for one person in a lifetime of lifetimes and that we can finally be happy.”
His arms wrapped around my waist, and he bent down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. Then, he pulled me in tightly against him. We held each other in silence, comforting each other without words, until he finally pulled us to the bed, and I found myself lying on his chest while his fingers rustled through my hair.
After a few long, quiet moments, he stilled. “When I moved into this house, I moved her stuff in too. Her clothes are still in the basement. Her toothbrush and our wedding rings are on her supposed side of the bathroom.” His voice was soft, and