being would wither and die without him. Every time someone had walked away in the past, I’d let them. I’d never begged anyone to stay. Because they hadn’t really wanted to stay. Not for me, anyway.
“Please. Please don’t go. Please don’t leave,” I cried out.
He stopped, looking at me with tears flowing down his cheeks.
“Any life we build together is going to be hard enough, ‘Z, but if you aren’t all in to begin with, it’ll never work.”
My body was shivering. And yes, it was cold, and my socks were wet and turning to ice, but the shiver wasn’t because of that. It was because of Brett, and what he’d said, and how he thought I didn’t love him enough. As if I was choosing my family over him, just like everyone in my life had done to me.
I raced down the drive toward him, slipping on the ice, and I would have fallen if he hadn’t caught me, tugging my body up against his just in time.
“Jesus Christ,” he cried, his heart beating against me, pounding so loud I thought it would burst from his jacket.
I wrapped my arms around him. “You said you’d never regret marrying me.” My words caused him to flinch. “So, please give me a chance to explain.”
My tears continued unchecked, and my body shivered again, causing my teeth to chatter loudly.
“You’re frozen,” he growled, unzipping his jacket and pulling me into it so I was tucked up against his body with my feet on his boots instead of the icy ground. I took it as an olive branch. A pause in the campaign. At least he wasn’t still marching away.
I took a deep breath and said, “It’s not because I don’t want to be married to you. It’s not because I’m ashamed of you. It’s because I’m a coward. I’m afraid. I’m terrified you’ll choose them over me.”
Brett
THAT’S WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
“When I walk through a room, let them see you need me
Walk through a room, let them
See you love me, love me, love me.”
Performed by Nancy Wilson
Written by Lawrence © Edwin H. Morris & Co. Inc.
I hardly registered her words because I was cursing myself for her icy body. For the chattering of her teeth and the feet so cold I could feel them through my military-issued boots. But slowly, her words reached the recesses of my brain. Even after taking them in, I still didn’t understand them.
“’Z, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Please, come back to the house. I’ll tell you, and then…” She took a deep breath as if she were trying to get the courage to continue. “And then, if you decide you still need to leave, I’ll let you.”
I stared into her tear-stained face glowing in the moonlight, and I couldn’t resist her any longer. Her frantic pleas had about done me in from the moment I’d left the room. I couldn't imagine my world going back to one where she wasn’t a part of it, so I picked her up, folded her into my arms so she wasn’t touching the ice-covered earth, and walked back toward the house.
The lights were on in the kitchen. Someone was still awake, but we didn’t see anyone as we made our way down the hall to her room. I set her down on the bed, wrapped the quilt around her, and then proceeded to strip off her wet socks, rubbing her ice-cold feet.
She could’ve gotten hypothermia. She could have lost one of her perfectly shaped toes. I was a selfish asshole. I’d let pride and hurt come between us. I looked up from the floor and her pale skin to her eyes still flowing with tears.
“Talk to me,” I said.
She covered her face with her hands then straightened her shoulders and looked back up as if she were steeling herself to go into battle.
“My very first best friend, Mina, begged and begged to have a sleepover at my house. I was excited that someone wanted to hang out with me, so I asked, and Mama did her mama thing, baking and planning so we could have the grandest sleepover you could ever imagine. But once Mina got here, all she wanted to do was hang out with Ty. What was Ty doing? Was he playing video games? Could we play along? I thought it was just a video game obsession. But every time she came over, it was the same. Ty this, Ty that. And if Daddy was here with