from the fridge, and stood silently, letting Jordan take his place before the screen. He began to scroll through the pictures, searching for the ones he wanted to order. Bennett knew he didn’t need to be there, that Jordan could handle this task by himself, but he felt compelled to stand there, driving himself quietly crazy. He imagined what those sexy silver highlights at his temples would look like at dawn as Jordan snuck out of his bed to go back to his own life after a night together.
“Wow! This one’s a beauty!”
Jordan’s exclamation brought Bennett’s eyes to the screen and he smiled. Jordan was right, of course. The shot was taken just as the last rays of the sun lit up the evening sky. Jordan was in silhouette in it, his tall, muscled body standing out against the red-orange-gold of evening, his face only a shadow. And yet, somehow, the streaks of gray at his temples stood out, a beacon calling all eyes to the man who stood looking out into the vast unknown.
“I was panning around looking for shots when I saw you standing there. It was too good an opportunity to miss…you being reflective at your friend’s wedding. I wondered what you were thinking then as you stood there, looking so intently into the sunset. I hope it was good thoughts.”
Bennett spoke his wish with great sincerity, doing his best not to let Jordan see how much more he had to say than that. He didn’t need to know how Bennett had wondered if he were thinking about his own lover, or about what it would be like to go and stand behind him, holding him from behind, breathing into his ear. For fuck’s sake, now is not the time to be thinking shit like this. Business, remember? Get it together!
“You can definitely make an image sing,” Jordan was saying. “That picture is reminding me a whole lot about what I was feeling that day.”
Bennett could well imagine. “I think weddings do a number on all the single people who find themselves there, don’t you?”
He chuckled, going to sit on the office chair at his desk where his laptop was, across from the table on which the wide-screened monitor sat.
“That they do,” Jordan agreed. “I hadn’t been to a wedding before Mac’s in a very long time, and it hit me kinda hard, I guess.”
Bennett thought he understood. He had felt a shaft of loneliness as well that day, piercing in ways he didn’t understand fully. And he knew objectively that he wasn’t alone. He had a family he loved…loving and supportive parents, siblings who had his back, a sweet niece who filled his life with light and joy. But he had very few real friends. Aside from Ry, there was really no one he hung out with apart from his brothers. So it felt like a loss, though he knew Chandler would never try to disrupt his friendship with Ry.
“I hear you, man,” he told Jordan. “Not sure who I’m gonna hang with now. It just seems wrong to keep doing the same things with Ry as though he’s still a single guy when he’s not any longer, you know?”
Jordan didn’t answer and Bennett looked across to find him stalled on another great shot. This one was of him and Chandler laughing happily. It was an infectious laugh. Just looking at it now made him want to laugh with them, even if he had no idea what had prompted it. Jordan’s arm was draped loosely across his friend’s shoulders. He had been struck by how carefree they looked. That’s what friends are for. He’d thought so then, and as he watched Jordan’s expression soften, he still thought so now.
Had he and Chandler been an item? Why did it matter? It wasn’t his business what they’d been to each other. And how the hell was that even appropriate for him to be thinking now? He shook himself and took a swig of beer.
“Find anything else you like?” he asked, breaking the silence after five more minutes.
Why was he sitting there watching Jordan scroll though pictures? It wasn’t as though he didn’t have anything else to do. He glanced down at his desk on which papers were scattered haphazardly. He had a contract to review before signing it, a couple of articles to check and then there were all the emails he had to write and respond to. He had a lot of work to do, and Jordan