assaulted. The second we get out, they get right in our faces and start yelling at us as they usher us into a room. They tell us that we are the lowest scum of the earth and the worst pieces of shits who’ve ever breathed. Penny gives me a nervous look, like she wants to cry. She starts to open the envelope as I catch a glimpse of the marines who just verbally tore us new assholes.
They’re now looking her over like she’s something they want.
Red-hot anger shoots down my spine, and I feel possessive, like I want her to put that shirt back on. I scowl at them, gritting my teeth. Marines or not, I’d fuck them up. Put your fucking tongues back in your mouth, or I’m gonna do it for you.
Then the door opens, and Charity and Tony walk in. Good. That’ll give ’em something else to look at. Because this girl? This smart, beautiful, hot-as-hell girl in the ponytail and freckles?
She is mine.
I don’t know when I started feeling that way, but I’ll be damned if I let any other man get close to her now. We’re a team, in this race together, allied. The only alliance that matters. All my other alliances can go to hell.
She gasps suddenly, and I turn to see her staring with horror at the card she’s slipped from the envelope.
“What?”
“One of us has to go through the confidence course,” she says, not lifting her eyes from the paper.
The confidence course is balls hard. I saw things about it in high school when I was thinking about going into the service, before I got wrapped up in drugs. “Okay. No problem. Just one of us? I can handle that. What . . .”
She lets out an uneasy breath, and the envelope falls to the ground. “The other one has to get his or her head shaved.”
Oh.
Fuck.
Now I see what she means.
“Okay.” The door opens, and Brad and Natalie come in. We don’t have much chance to make up our minds.
The marine sergeant hands us military fatigues to change into. “Changing rooms for males and females. Once you come back, we expect your answer.”
They shove us in separate directions, and all the while I’m zeroed in on Penny’s horrified face. “Look. It’s up to you. I’ll do whatever you want.”
She doesn’t respond. She looks dazed. I want to follow her, tell her it’ll be all right, that I’d fucking think she was the hottest thing ever even with a bald head. But I’m not so sure it’s my opinion that matters to her. The world will see her, the thirteen million fans who watch this show on television.
I throw on the tight T-shirt, the boots, the military cargo pants and hat, and then I go outside, where I finally see Ace and Marta arrive. Somehow, they’re dead last. I don’t even have the urge to rub that in his face, because I’m getting enough satisfaction watching him get his ass yelled off by a marine sergeant.
Penny comes outside into the sunlight. She’s wearing the military fatigues, her cap pulled down low over her eyes, so I almost don’t recognize her. The getup makes her look like something from one of my fantasies. I wouldn’t mind her getting in my face a little and yelling that cute button nose off at me.
“I’ve decided. I’m going to do the confidence course.”
“Penny,” I start, because I’m not sure she knows what she’s getting into. “Do you—”
“Don’t. I know it’s not the best strategy, but I made up my mind,” she says, setting her jaw, staring straight ahead. A marine is already guiding her away, toward the course.
Another marine approaches me. “Ready?”
I just watch her go as I rip the cap off my head and run my hands through my hair. I couldn’t give a shit about losing my hair; it’s just hair. But damn, I don’t want Penny hurt. “Can I watch her?”
“We’ll take you out there when you’re done. Come on.”
When I can’t see her anymore, I nod. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”
CONFIDENCE
Nell
Do I like Luke’s new hair? Yes. I mean, what is hair? I’m not concerned with physical traits. That’s not sufficiently interesting to me. The simple reason I decided on the confidence course is because I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. But yes. Luke makes a good-looking marine, I suppose . . . Actually, I guess he makes a good-looking anything.
—Nell’s Confessional, Day 11
I walk with