or love or marry an American. I truly never believed I could have anything in common with someone like Nick.”
Growing up, the West and Westerners were almost surreal beings. It was a given that “they” had different morals and values than “we” did and “we” were morally superior. Most first-generation Indians in the United States only had friends who were Indian. I had never thought I would be any different. I had started out with only Indian friends but my circle grew as I grew. Now I was in a place where I didn’t think in terms of Indian friends and American friends, just friends. I had somewhere down the line stopped looking at skin color.
“He is a very, very nice person,” I said. “He . . . makes me happy.”
“I can’t accept it, Priya,” Nanna told me seriously. “Probably in a few years, maybe, but right now, I am very angry with you and I am very hurt, but I don’t hate you. I am your father, I will always love you.”
“And that’s enough for now,” I said. “I want more, but I understand, perfectly. In trying to protect you from Nick and Nick from you, I think I’ve ruined this big time.”
We were quiet for a while and then Nanna shrugged. “I think you did what anyone in your place would do.”
“It’s hard,” I said softly. “I wanted to be the perfect daughter, but I realized that in trying to be the perfect daughter, I wasn’t trying to be happy.”
“I never asked for perfection, Priya Ma,” Nanna said.
I nodded. “Yes, you never did but I wanted to give it to you anyway. I wanted to have your love and have Nick’s love and Thatha’s love. I’m selfish, maybe a little greedy; I didn’t want to lose anything or anybody. But I find that it’s not as easy as I thought it would be and maybe not as difficult as I told Nick it would be either.
“You are my favorite man, Nanna. I just didn’t want to lose you because I was in love with another man, the man with the wrong nationality and race. I know Thatha is going to disown me and—”
“He is?” Nanna interrupted me.
“It’s a gut feeling, not anything he said, but I know him and I know that this is not what he wants for me. That’s a battle I have lost. I’m worried that Ma will turn her back on me as well,” I confessed. “And even though she and I have never been best of friends, I came here to tell you all. I wanted so much for you to accept Nick, to accept Nick and me as a couple.”
“Don’t worry about Ma. She’s going to do what I’m going to do,” Nanna said with a small smile. “She’s your mother and she will always love you, no matter what you do. That’s a mother’s job.”
We looked at each other for a while, accepting each other, flaws and all, yet again. Some relationships you can’t sever.
“I am glad though that you didn’t marry him in the dark, like Anand married Neelima,” Nanna said quietly. “I am glad you had the courage to tell us. I would have preferred to hear about it earlier but at least you told us, so many others just wouldn’t have. This colleague of mine, his son lives in Europe, married a British girl and called them after the wedding . . . broke his heart.”
“I thought I broke yours.”
Nanna laughed. “Cracked it a little, but it is not broken. I am proud that you are who you are. I am happy that I raised you . . . because I raised you well.”
“I thought you were angry, felt that I stabbed you in the back, cheated you,” I told him.
“Well, last night I felt that way,” Nanna admitted. “But now . . . after drinking all night, I can see the light.”
“The clarity of the drunk?” I joked, and he laughed again. Yesterday night I had thought that he would never laugh again, at least never with me.
“We’re thinking of getting married this fall. Will you come?” I asked impulsively.
“Are you inviting me to your wedding?” Nanna asked, incredulous.
“Times have changed,” I said, realizing how ridiculous the situation was. My father had forever planned to marry me off and now when the time was here I was marrying myself off, while he was being invited as a guest.
“We will see,” he said, and I understood that he