is and love her, treat her like a member of the family. But . . . if you don’t want to do that, she won’t come here. . . . I won’t come here . . . and neither will our child.”
The line had been drawn. Anand had just crossed over and become a man. I couldn’t have been prouder.
Ammamma was about to say something but stopped when Thatha raised his hand.
“I agree, she is a daughter-in-law of this house and as such she deserves respect,” Thatha said somberly. “But it will take time before we love her. She will never be our choice for your wife, Anand. What is done is done; I can’t change the past or our past behavior. But from now on we will treat her like a member of the family.”
Ammamma looked away and Lata made a small clicking sound. My mother pursed her lips and then shrugged.
“Are we clear?” Thatha repeated, looking at the women of his house.
“Yes,” Ammamma finally said, speaking for everyone.
“Good,” Thatha said, and nodded toward Neelima. “Congratulations on the baby. We can’t wait to hold another grandchild in our arms.”
By now Neelima’s tears were racing down her face with the speed of a heavy waterfall. Anand looked at me and mouthed “Thank you.” I nodded, feeling like a total fraud.
TO: PRIYA RAO
FROM: NICHOLAS COLLINS
SUBJECT: PHONE CALL!
IT WAS WONDERFUL TALKING TO YOU.
I KNOW YOU ARE UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE AND I WISH I COULD FIND A WAY TO EASE IT. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE INTRICACIES OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY AND SOMETIMES THAT MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO.
BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION AND YOUR HEART TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY HAPPY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU CAN BE HAPPY. I REALIZE NOW THAT MAYBE THE DETACHMENT YOU FELT FOR THEM WHEN YOU WERE HERE ISN’T EASY TO FEEL WHEN THEY’RE NEXT TO YOU. HERE YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF TELLING THEM ABOUT ME EASILY BECAUSE I WAS WITH YOU, NOW YOU’RE WITH THEM AND YOU FIND THAT IT’S NOT EASY.
I WON’T LIKE IT BUT I’LL UNDERSTAND IF YOU FIND THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU CAN’T TELL THEM ABOUT ME. I WON’T LIKE IT AT ALL BECAUSE I WANT YOU WHOLE, NOT DIVIDED AS THE DAUGHTER OR GRANDDAUGHTER AND WIFE AND LOVER.
BUT ULTIMATELY, I’LL TAKE YOU ANY WAY I CAN GET YOU.
TAKE CARE.
NICK
I couldn’t sleep.
Sowmya, Anand, Neelima, and I were spread out on the terrace on straw mats, chappas. I lay my head on a flat cotton pillow and looked up at the stars. For the past half an hour since Sowmya had fallen asleep, I had been staring at Saptarishi and, just my luck, I couldn’t see Arundhati.
Instead, the vultures were circling.
The last time I had slept on this terrace, I had been twenty years old, ready to face the world with the strength of the innocent. I was gearing up to go the United States; I had gotten my F-1 student visa and my bags were packed. I was spending a last weekend at Ammamma’s house before heading over across seven seas to the land of opportunities. I had been so eager to leave, so excited that I had never thought that when I came back everything would be different to me and for me. I had never thought about how it would never be the same again, about how the cliché “you can never really go back home” would stand true.
This was not home anymore. Home was in San Francisco with Nick. Home was Whole Foods grocery store and fast food at KFC. Home was Pier 1 and Wal-Mart. Home was 7-Eleven and Star-bucks. Home was familiar, Hyderabad was a stranger; India was as alien, exasperating, and sometimes exotic to me as it would be to a foreigner.
I heard the gate opening and got up to see who it was. A lanky figure with a backpack stepped into the yard and then under the small yellow light that glowed with a flicker under the carport. He looked up and waved. I had never been happier to see Nate.
“I’m starving,” he said, as soon as I came down. “You guys sleeping upstairs?”
“Yes, and there’s plenty of food in the kitchen,” I said. “Let’s go in from the back door.”
“Good idea, last thing I need is Ma waking up and going, ‘oh my son is home,’ ” he said with a grin.
I