in my name.
“To bless you,” Thatha said, patting my head fondly. “To wish you the best in your long journey to a whole new world.”
There had been quite a crowd that morning. It was just 8 A.M. but several people had already lined up to have pujas performed for their loved ones, their cars, computers, children, et cetera.
Thatha and I had taken some consecrated white sugar, prasadam, and found a quiet corner in the garden in front of the temple to sit and watch the people, dressed in bright colors, moving with the purpose of God. As we ate the prasadam from our hands, the sugar melted in the May heat and made our hands sticky.
“Now don’t forget to call . . . often . . . as long as you have the money,” Thatha told me. “And if you need money, you are really short, then call. . . . I will send you some.”
I nodded. I had promised myself that once I left home I would not take any money from my parents or my family. Independence was not just a word to me, I wanted to stand on my own two feet, not run back to Thatha and Nanna at the first sign of trouble, financial or otherwise.
“I have a tuition waiver,” I said to Thatha. “I will get some kind of assistantship. I will find a job . . . anything . . . I will be okay.”
“Pay attention to your studies,” Thatha said sternly. “And don’t take up some stupid job in some restaurant bussing tables. Okay?”
I had known even then that it wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever to Thatha’s mindset regarding what he thought were lowly jobs for those of a higher caste and I hadn’t bothered to convince him otherwise. But now I felt compelled to talk him out of his beliefs about black and white people, Americans, love marriages, and compulsory heirs. Why was it important to me now what had been understandable then?
I didn’t know why I had changed from accepting Thatha the way he was to a Thatha who I wanted to change.
“Look.” Sowmya pointed to a thick gold chain studded with diamonds that circled the top of the Shivaling inside a cage within the temple. “They say it costs one lakh rupees.”
“Is that why they have it so nicely locked up?” I asked, barely able to see anything through the thick, closely aligned metal bars between us and the Gods.
“Ah, you know people, they will steal anything, even God’s jewelry,” Sowmya said. “So silent it is, but in another few hours, there will be so many people here. Are there temples in the U.S.? I know there is one in Pittsburgh; everyone says it is a big temple. All Indians get married there.”
I laughed. “I don’t think all Indians get married there. But yes, I’ve heard it’s a big temple. There are a couple in the Bay Area. There is a huge one in a place called Livermore and there is another one in Sunnyvale, close to where I work.”
“Do you go there often?”
I shrugged. “I’ve been there a couple times . . . I don’t have the time, Sowmya.”
I didn’t add that I was not particularly religious. I didn’t go to any temple because I didn’t feel compelled to go.
“Do you go to church, then?” Sowmya asked, and I was taken aback.
“Why would you think that?”
Sowmya shrugged. “Got to follow something, right?”
“No,” I shook my head. “I don’t go to church.”
“I just . . . thought maybe you’ve changed that way as well,” Sowmya said.
“I have changed?” I didn’t think I had changed at all.
“Yes,” Sowmya said. “You are more . . . stronger. You stand by your opinions a lot more than you used to and you don’t let your Thatha get away with everything.”
I laughed softly. “But my relationship with Ma is still in the same pit.”
“Nobody can fix that one, ” Sowmya declared, and brought her hands together in prayer with a clap. “Maybe he can”—she pointed to the Shivaling with folded hands—“but I don’t think so.”
We laughed together and then she held my hand and squeezed it. “I am so happy to see you, Priya. You are a welcome change and I have missed you so much.” Sowmya hugged me then. “It is so good to talk to someone like this again,” she said, and sighed. “But you’ll be gone soon.”
“I’ll come more often from now on,” I said impulsively. “Maybe you can come