hid for four years."
"Statute of limitations run out so I'm back," said Puck.
"There's no statute of limitations on owing somebody for saving your life."
"Ain't no lawyers in Fairyland," said Puck. "That's one of its best features."
"We aren't in Fairyland," said Mack.
"Well, your mortal cops and courts sure as hell got no jurisdiction here," said Puck. "But tell me what you want me to do for you, and I'll see if I want to do it."
"I want to know about the queen of the fairies."
Puck shook his head and clicked his tongue three times. "Ain't you got no young girls in high school? Why you got to go looking into a woman older than the San Andreas Fault, and a lot more troublesome?"
"So she causes even more trouble than you do?" asked Mack.
"Some people think so," said Puck. "Though maybe it's a tossup."
Mack wasn't going to let the fairy distract him. "Is she named Titania or Mab?"
"I thought we settled that years ago. I don't tell names."
"Then I'll ask the house."
"She ain't here," said Puck. "Won't work."
"I think you're lying," said Mack.
"I'm gone four years, and you call me a liar first thing. You got no manners, boy."
Mack leaned his head back and talked to the ceiling. "What's the name of the queen of the fairies?"
Nothing happened. Mack went back to drying off with the towel.
"Told you so," said Puck.
"Maybe the house just trying to figure out how to show me her name. Her name isn't a word, like yours is."
"Easy," said Puck. "Show you a tit with a tan - plenty of those in Brentwood - then a knee, then some dumb kid standing there saying, 'Uh.' "
"So her name is Titania."
Puck made a big show of looking aghast. "Oh, no! I let it slip!"
"So her name isn't Titania?"
"Come on, Mack. I'm not going to tell you because it ain't mine to tell."
"All right then, tell me this. Why don't I ever see any fairies in Fairyland?"
"Because this part of Fairyland is a hellhole where nobody goes on purpose. Why else would he exile her here?"
"A hellhole?" said Mack. "It's beautiful. I love it here."
"That's because you got protection," said Puck. "In case you forgot, I almost got my ass chewed off in there."
"I saved your chewed-off ass, remember?"
"How can I forget, with you always bringing it up like that?"
"I haven't mentioned it in four years!"
"Oh, yeah, congratulations on being a senior. Got AP English this year, too. Not bad for a boy can't figure out how to tie his shoes."
"Are you going to get out of the doorway so I can go out and put on my clothes?"
Puck stepped aside. Mack went into the bedroom and pulled on his jeans.
"Oh, you go commando," said Puck. "No underwear."
"What's the point?" said Mack.
"You ready for anything," said Puck. "Except your pants fall down in the mall."
"I wear underwear when I remember to wash it."
"Good thing you buy tight jeans instead of letting it hang off your butt like those other kids at high school."
"I don't care about being cool."
"Which means you even cooler."
Mack shrugged. "Whatever."
"You want to know why I'm back?" asked Puck.
"I want to know about the queen of the fairies," said Mack.
"I'm back because he is about to make his move."
"What do I care?"
Puck laughed. "Oh, you'll care."
"So tell me his name, then."
Puck was silent.
"No guessing games?" said Mack.
"Don't even think about his name," said Puck.
"I can't. I don't know what it is."
"Don't think about thinking about it. You might as well have flashing lights and a siren."
"What, he doesn't already know where I am?"
"But you don't want him to notice you in particular."
"I've been tramping all over Fairyland and just asking you his name is going to make him see what he hasn't seen till now?"
"Do what you want, then," said Puck. "Just giving you good advice."
"I'm not afraid of him like you are," said Mack.
"Cause you dumb as a muffler on a '57 Chevy."
"I wouldn't be dumb if you'd answer my questions."
"Boy, if I answered your questions you'd probably be dead by now."
"What happened to you, when we took you to the hospital - he did that, right?"
"Birds did it."
There was some reason Puck was so scared of him. "His birds, right?"
"Who else's? That place is Fairyland, and he king of Fairyland."
"Bush is President and American birds don't do what he says."
"President ain't king and America ain't Fairyland."
"Don't you have someplace to go this morning?" asked Puck. "Like school?"
"Plenty of time to catch the bus. Specially since