test?" asked Mack.
"So to do a fairy circle in order to confine him long enough for us to get free, you have to find out where he is, exactly," said Ceese. "And in order to find out where he is, you need - let me guess - Mack, because he is Oberon. Sort of."
"That's right," said Yo Yo.
"Only Mack doesn't know it," said Ceese.
Puck suddenly had a moustache and twirled it. "Little does he know..." The moustache disappeared when everybody looked at him and nobody laughed.
"So how you going to get your counterword and your information out of a guy who doesn't actually know the things you think he knows?" asked Ceese.
"He's seventeen!" said Ceese.
"It's the time-honored tradition," said Grand. "Fairy queen needs to find out something from a mortal. She gets him into Fairyland, boffs his brains out, and then he just won't go away. Mortal stalks her until she takes pity on him and makes him forget."
"Blue Fairy Book or Red?" asked Mack.
"He's just making this up," said Puck.
"I'm a folklorist," said Grand. "Amateur. Started with slave narratives and slave magic beliefs.
Then I branched out. I never thought it was real."
"If you think this is real," said Puck.
"Shut the Puck up," said Yo Yo.
"Ha ha," said Puck. "Aren't we the class clown."
"But you've got to do it all at once," said Grand, "which is impossible. Because you can't use the fairy circle to bind him unless you two fairies are in control of it, and you can't get control of it till you're reunited with your imprisoned selves. And you can't be liberated until the fairy circle has distracted him."
"Plus I ain't sleeping with you," said Mack.
Both Puck and Yo Yo looked at him like he was crazy. "Everybody wants to sleep with her," said Puck.
"Not me," said Mack.
"Yes you do," said Yo Yo. "You think I don't know?"
"Oh, I want to," said Mack. "But I don't want to."
"Try English this time," said Puck.
"I want to sleep with her but I don't choose to sleep with her."
Yo Yo was on her feet in an instant. "Why not? What's wrong with me? I have never had a mortal turn me down!"
"Because I'm not sleeping with a girl I'm not married to," said Mack.
"Wow," said Ceese. "You don't hear that very much."
"Yeah, but I'm not sure how much of that is voluntary and how much is inadvertent."
Puck giggled and spoke to Mack. "So you want to get married?"
"She's already married," said Ceese.
"It doesn't matter," said Yo Yo.
"It does to me," said Mack.
"I mean, it doesn't matter that I'm married to Oberon. You are Oberon. So I could sleep with you right now."
"Oberon and you might be married, but I'm not Oberon," said Mack. "And we're not married."
Ceese tried to summarize it. "So this all comes down to, Mack gets it on with Yolanda White here, you find out what you need to know, then all the other stuff happens at once."
"That's it," said Yo Yo.
"Including a fairy circle," said Ceese.
"If the neighbors might be willing to cooperate."
"We form your fairy circle," said Grand, "will that make these horrible wishes stop?"
"It would give me and Puck the power we need, if there are enough of you."
"And we got to get all those people into this house?" asked Grand.
"No, dear no," said Yo Yo. "Mortals' wishes have no power in Fairyland. Especially not here in this passageway. No, the fairy circle has to be in the mortal world."
"But you're imprisoned in Fairyland," said Mack.
"Right," said Puck. "Why do you think we haven't already worked this out with some other neighborhood long ago?"
"You haven't worked it out with this neighborhood, either," said Ceese. "You got a long way to go before most of these folks willing to cross the street for Miz Yolanda."
"You haven't worked any of it out," said Mack. "Including the part where you sleep with me just to get information. It's like some bad World War One movie. What was that musical one with Julie Andrews and Rock Hudson?"
"Who are they?" asked Ceese.
see Mary Poppins do a striptease."
"I wouldn't mind," said Puck.
"I'm not going to lie with a woman I'm not married to," said Mack.
"That one heavy Bible-reading boy there," said Puck.
"Good for you, Mack Street," said Grand.
"Queen of the fairies wants to sleep with you," said Ceese, "and you saying no?"
"I'm saying, Marry me," said Mack.
"Whatever," said Yo Yo.
It infuriated Mack that she dismissed him so easily. "Marry me and mean it."
"I meant it the first time I married