We're all fine. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Sia, you were dead. Now you aren't." His eyes shifted across my face. "We want to talk to the dragon too."
Maybe it was because I'd just woken up, but those things didn't fit together in my mind. They'd all seemed nervous around her. So I asked, "Why?"
"A few reasons," he said, shifting his body a little closer. "Mostly because you told Sam that your veins burned. Also because Luke told me about what the angels are planning. How they want to get more slaves. Anything we can think of to stop that is going to require a lot of help, and you said she's a Muse." His hand slid over my hair again. "Do you think she's safe to talk to?"
"Yeah," I said, nodding my head beneath his hand. "If we can find her."
"We'll find her," he promised. "Well, you will. You should know her seal if you used her aether. That means you can summon her."
I paused to think about that. "Yeah, maybe? It's not like ours, though. Nick, she's...different."
"She's a dragon," he said. "We never realized they were sentient, dove. It's not surprising that her pattern is vastly different from anything you've seen before."
I could only accept that, because something else was bothering me. "Did he tell you about Chris?"
"The bartender? Yes."
"And Delta Phi?"
Nick almost smiled. "He did."
And now for the hardest part. "And the pregnancy test?"
Nick leaned in to press his lips against my forehead. "That too, but I wish you'd said something earlier. I hate that you were worried about it and none of us even realized it."
"Yeah, but I know you don't - "
He cut me off. "Stop. Let me clear this up right now. I do not want a child who will die before me. That does not mean I wouldn't love it - or its mother. That doesn't mean I wouldn't try to be the best father I could. I most definitely would not leave you because of a pregnancy. Ok?"
"But I don't want it either," I told him.
"What do you want?" he asked, those starry eyes searching mine. "Sia, when we aren't trying to distract you from everything you left behind, what is it that you really want? If you closed your eyes right now, and imagined your future, what is it you see?"
"Us," I said. "The First Legion, all in a house together. In my head, we're laughing, and we never have to get old. I kinda always see us on Earth. Like, the house changes, but Earth is just what I know. And I love it here, but I miss the distractions, I think. The books, movies, and surfing the internet."
"What else?" he asked. "Or do you just see us partying for the rest of eternity?"
I couldn't meet his eyes anymore, and my teeth found my lower lip. "Um, I kinda want to get my degree. Maybe a few of them. I want to learn things, Nick. I want to figure out calculus! I want to learn how to cook. And..." I dared to glance back, expecting him to be laughing at me, but he wasn't. "And I want to help people. Kinda like some fucked up superhero, I guess? Like..." I shoved a hand over my face. "Don't laugh at me?"
"Promise," he said.
"You know how Luke buys souls? How he makes deals and really doesn't get anything out of it? He just makes them think that they have to lose something so it's not an empty request?"
His lips curled upward, and I almost snapped at him because he'd promised not to laugh, but then he pulled me against him in a tight hug. "I like that. I really like that."
"You do?" I mumbled against his chest.
"Since you started talking about locking the angels away, I've been trying to figure out what our purpose would be. Once we no longer have an enemy to fight, then why are we even here? And we can't die, Sia."
"I kinda failed at it too," I pointed out.
Nick made a sound like he didn't quite agree. "This time. The truth is that we have no idea what you did, or if that's just a part of the changes you made to yourself to live forever. It's not something I want to count on."
"Oh."
Because that wasn't really what I wanted to hear. When Ron said I'd died, I'd dared to hope that maybe I'd done another one of those miraculous things where I'd overpowered