break me first. Yet I was tired of running from it. I no longer wanted to slip to another plane so I could be alone. I wanted to be right here, in the middle of this mess we were making and calling our legion. I wanted to finally stop wondering what would happen if I tried.
So I was trying.
Slamming my fist on the counter, I turned back to glare at him. "And once again, you avoided it."
"Do I want you?" Luke asked. "Yes. Do I deserve you?"
"Yes," I snapped before he could say anything else. "Damn it, Luke. How much longer are we going to do this? I make an excuse, and you let me. You make another, and I let you. Sam watches us both and just rolls his eyes. Well, here I am. This is your last chance because I will not make a fool of myself like this again."
"Yes."
The word was so soft I almost missed it, but the way he looked away said enough. He wanted to say no. He thought he should, but I'd pushed him until I finally found the end of his deception.
"Luke?" I asked.
Slowly, he turned to face me. "Yes, ok? I love you, Nick, and I have for so long. I hate that I love you and you never once noticed."
"I noticed," I told him. "But every time I tried to do something about it, you fucked off. You'd vanish for years at a time, and I..." I had to stop before I said something I'd regret, so I tried a different path. "I ended things with Sam because I was convinced that I should only like women. How could I want you if that was the case? How could I explain to Sam that I didn't want him yet was attracted to you? And every single time I finally decided it would be worth trying, you ran."
"I'm done running," Luke said.
"Because of me?" I asked. "Or her?"
"Because I have nowhere else to run," he admitted. "And I really don't want to." He stumbled forward, closing the distance between us. His hands found my chest, and he pushed me back. "Don't give me a chance to change my mind," he said, and then pulled my shirt open.
I caught him with one arm around his back, the other hand pulling his face to mine. The counter held us up, but he was still pushing. I leaned back, giving him control as our lips met, and he reached for the counter to support his weight. Another pan clattered, hitting the floor, but I didn't fucking care. My tongue slipped into his mouth, and his met it. I'd thought our fight was over, but he had to prove me wrong, although this way was a lot nicer.
And then Sia's door clicked a second before it opened. Luke and I both paused, looking to see who was coming out. My gut reaction was to panic about how we'd explain this to Sia, wishing we'd made the soundproofing go both ways. Knowing she said it was ok didn't stop me from feeling like I was guilty and about to get caught. Thankfully, the face that peered around the corner wasn't hers.
It was Sam, and he was struggling not to laugh as he silently left the room, padded across the living room in his underwear, and set a bottle on the preparation table behind us. "Told her you were probably cleaning. Thought you might need that." And then he left.
Neither Luke nor I moved until Sia's door was closed again, and then we both just laughed. "Is that lube?" Luke asked.
"Yeah," I groaned. "Sam's good like that."
Luke just nodded, but I could see something playing in his head. I didn't want to rush him, but I was also worried that Sam's little interruption had just ruined the moment. After what seemed like a small eternity, Luke sighed.
"I like to be on bottom," he admitted. "Not just for Ron. I actually..."
"I don't," I told him. "I could never relax. It doesn't get me off."
"Upstairs?" he asked.
I shrugged off my shirt. "Right here?"
His answer was to kiss me again, but this time the rage was gone. "Hard, Nick."
I was fumbling to get his shirt off. "I can do hard," I promised.
He helped me. I helped him. Both of us scrambled to bare our chests and open our pants, but we couldn't keep our mouths off each other. I kissed his lips, his neck, and everything else I could reach,