for the most exciting boy toy that would likely inspire unchecked exuberance. ‘Your first Ferrari.’ I understand that he has three now.
Scott’s smile drops off his face and sinks to I don’t know where, somewhere too deep to retrieve. ‘You know, Fern, I don’t think I ever had your enthusiasm for it all. I mean I like it. I love being rich and having nice stuff, of course. But the actual things, they let me down.’
‘In what way?’ I sit down on the edge of the bed and he sits next to me.
‘Well, take those Bang and Olufsen BeoLab5 speakers, for example, I thought owning those would make me happy. Being able to spend five grand on speakers should make you happy, right? And they did, but only for a tiny, tiny amount of time and that’s not happy enough. So they sort of let me down.’
‘But they work well, hey? They do something special?’ I ask. Unsure exactly what they could do to justify a five grand price tag. Perhaps they make a cup of tea while pumping out music or run around with the vacuum if the place ever needs it.
‘Yeah, they work. The acoustic lens technology means that music is projected around obstacles so you can place them up against a wall without distorting sound. But that’s not my point. What I mean is, however much stuff I cram in my life it doesn’t feel full.’
‘Oh Scott, please don’t give me the money doesn’t buy you happiness routine. Because let me remind you, honey, being broke isn’t such a giggle either.’
Scott’s grin bounces back on to his face. ‘You are so straight up. I love it. You’re going to tell me I haven’t been shopping in the right places, hey?’
‘No.’ I lean towards Scott, our foreheads are touching. We hold unblinking eye contact. We are so close to each other that our breathing is all muddled up and his breath out is my breath in. ‘From the look of this place you have definitely been shopping in the right places, just not with the right people.’
‘Are you the right person?’
‘Yup, Scott. I am.’
‘So this is what it’s like; moving from the multiple choice to the singular?’ he asks.
‘Yes, in this and all matters of intimacy you’ll find less is more.’
He kisses me. And I kiss him back. Tender for a moment and then ravenous. At last! We start to devour each other. His touch is desperate, swift and mind-blowing. His fingers burn me but the scalding sensation is totally pleasurable. I’m fettered to his lips just as though he’d tied me up; I never want to be anywhere other than here. Tinder in his hands, I feel I’m about to explode with wanting and desire. He starts to tug at my clothes and his own. For once, he doesn’t seem in the slightest bit practised, he’s clumsy with nerves or excitement. He doesn’t know whose buttons or flies to loosen first and nor do I. Our fingers become tangled with one another. Never before have just days of abstinence created this intense build-up of lust in me, but as Scott pushes me back on to the black sheets, I swear I can hear the blood pounding around my body; in my heart, in my head, in my silky, frilly Agent Provocateur panties.
There’s a knock at the door.
‘Go away,’ shouts Scott, breaking from our kisses, just for a moment.
The knock is repeated, this time louder and more forceful.
‘Piss off.’ He’s also louder and more forceful.
The door opens and Mark, Scott’s manager, walks in. So far I’ve had little to do with Mark. We nod at one another and pass pleasantries but nothing more. Saadi deals with me. Mark deals with Scott. I thought Scott would deal with everything: me, Mark and Saadi. I thought he’d be in charge, but I’m beginning to understand that is not the case. I think Mark is in charge. I suppose if I’m to continue Saadi’s analogy that we are all a team, then Mark is the manager and Scott is the captain. Saadi’s in goal. And what am I? I’m left field at the moment; I’d rather be a striker. I shake my head, this is madness; I don’t even like football.
Mark has been in the music business since he dropped out of art college in the 70s. No one needs qualifications in this business. They need wits and talent, and as intrusive as I find Mark’s presence (particularly at this moment!)