here.”
I need to let her go!
“I’m not pregnant, Rage. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.”
I wish she was. I wish it so hard it hurts me inside. I know I’m being stupid, because a pregnancy would force her to stay. I don’t want to force Nia to do anything. If she comes back to me, I want it to be because she’s made the decision. I want her to take the plunge. To dive into the amazing life we could have.
I have to let her go! I must!
“I guess this is goodbye, then,” I say.
She nods. “Thank you for everything. I owe you so much.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I feel like I got closure where Warrick is concerned. I’m not as afraid of my powers. I found out things about myself I wouldn’t have otherwise. I think I’m a better person for knowing you.”
I watch her throat work. “I wish I had met you first. I wish I wasn’t so afraid.” Her eyes cloud up.
There is nothing I can say that would change her mind. Nothing I can do. I have to let her go.
“Take care of yourself.” Her eyes look like they’re glinting. Like maybe she wants to cry. Nia reaches up and kisses me on my cheek.
My fucking cheek.
My chest tightens.
“You too,” I say. I keep my hands firmly in my pockets.
I watch her walk away. I watch Death take her hand. I watch them disappear. I feel the dark descend around me. I feel my scowl return to my face. I feel my mouth set in a grimace. I know it’s corny, but I feel a piece of my heart leave with her. I feel empty in the space it used to fill. The rest of me is bleeding. The old me would take solace in the pain, the suffering. I don’t! I’m forever changed.
25
Rage
Three weeks later…
There is a knock at the door. I ignore it. There are more knocks and shouts. Trident wants me to let him in. I ignore him and turn the sound up. I bought this seventy-inch flat-screen television with surround-sound system two weeks ago. Best buy ever! I’m binge-watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I’m halfway through The Two Towers. My phone pings with a message. I know it’s Trident, but like a complete pussy I check anyway because it could be…her. Maybe…just maybe. I feel hope rise. That same hope is dashed when I see Tri’s name on the screen. I’m a fucking asshole. I want to ignore the messages, but I open them since the phone is in my hand.
I know you’re home.
Let me in!
This isn’t healthy.
I see the three dots that tell me he is writing another message. I groan with irritation and turn my phone over on the coffee table. Then I turn the television sound up even louder.
I keep watching the movie. The knocking and pinging have stopped. Good! I think he’s left. I don’t need the hassle. I want to see what happens next in the movie.
The window is open behind me. The blinds are drawn. I hear Trident. “I know you’re in there,” he yells. “Let me in already.”
Fucking hell!
Whatever happened to privacy?
If I ignore him long enough, he’ll go away. I know this because it isn’t the first time he’s been here. It’s the fifth or the sixth time this week. He’s definitely tenacious. I’ll give him that. Tenacious and irritating.
There’s a loud thump. “Fuck!” Tri growls. He’s inside my house. On the floor. He climbed in through the window.
“You broke into my house.” I sit up on the sofa. “What the fuck, asshole!” I put my movie on pause. “This is a good part. As you can see, I’m absolutely fine. You can go now. You can let yourself out. Use the door this time, you weirdo.”
Trident stands up and dusts off his pants. I might not have vacuumed for a couple of days…a week…maybe more. Time has been a bit blurred. It’s not a biggie, just a bit of dust.
“Fine?” Tri snorts. “You’re not fine. Look at you. Look at this house.” He looks around. “It fucking stinks in here. You stink.” He wrinkles his nose. “When last did you last shower? Look at that shirt. Your hair.”
“What’s wrong with my hair?” I touch it, and it flops into my eyes.
“You need a cut. Worse yet, it’s greasy.” He starts to open the blinds and more windows. He opens the back door. “Air!” he exclaims with so