nods and gives me a half-smile. “It looks like this whole ‘fall in love with a hellhound’ thing works both ways after all. Even if the guy isn’t a hellhound as well. When did you know?”
“I suspected when you did the things I asked you to do. I told you to use your power, and you did. I told you that you were in control, and you were. The moment you grabbed him, I could feel his hold on me break, but I think that had to do with your powers.”
“I think part of my ability is suppressing other people’s power,” Rage says, “I can see things…I can see magic. I could see Gaire in his invisible form. I could see the door or portal from which Death teleported. I could probably tell you where he came from. I could see that demon.” His eyes are lifted in thought. “It was freaky.”
“I’m sure. I can’t imagine. I’m grateful you trusted me. That you didn’t try to fight it.”
“I do trust you, Nia.”
“You absolutely can. I won’t take any kind of advantage of you.” I shake my head.
He gives me a sad smile. “I wish you would.”
I choke out a laugh. It quickly dies a thousand deaths.
“I think that the way this love business is supposed to work is that two people are supposed to fall in love with one another. They become bound to one another. They give some of their control to the other person, but it’s supposed to be beautiful, equal, and balanced. We could be all of those things, Nia.”
I’m choking up. I want the things he’s saying. They make my heart feel lighter, but at the same time, I’m suffocating. “I…I can’t be bound to someone else so soon. I trusted Gaire, and I was wrong. I haven’t loved him for an age, but I only just escaped him. You are the kind of man I could easily fall in love with. I would fall so much harder…so much faster, but…” I chew on my bottom lip.
“You don’t want to,” he finishes the sentence for me.
“No, I’m sorry…I just can’t. Not right now. I’m not ready.”
“I understand.” Rage cups my chin and lifts my face so that my eyes meet his. He’s smiling. “You do you. Go find yourself. Do what you need to do. Know that I will be here if you decide you want to try.”
I put my arms around him. I bury my head into his chest. I feel his hands on my back. I hear his heart beating. I wish so hard that I was ready. I pull back. “I need to go back home. I miss my family. I need to learn how to breathe again.”
He lets me go.
24
Rage
Later that day…
Storm clouds are gathering. It feels appropriate. The sky is becoming heavy with pending rain. I hear a crash of thunder in the distance. I look up as I push my hands into my pockets. Letting go is fucking hard.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay until you know for sure?” Death asks Nia.
She shakes her head, “I promise I will never keep something like that a secret. I would never keep your children from you.” Nia turns my way. Her beautiful eyes shine with sincerity.
“Children…” I run a hand through my hair, feeling my heart gallop in my chest.
“Don’t panic,” Nia reassures me. “The chances of me being pregnant are very small. I don’t feel any different. Surely I would know if I was?” I can see she’s not buying her own reasoning.
“You said that not many hellhounds are fertile,” I say.
She nods. “Exactly.”
“And we only had unprotected sex twice,” I say.
“All it takes is once. I hate to break it to the two of you.” Death is frowning. “Twelve became pregnant in that house. It’s not a part of the Underworld, even if it is in the Underworld. A lot of this magic stuff is complicated.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll wait over there while you say your goodbyes. Don’t take too long. I might end up being summoned.” His face turns red. His whole stance becomes tense. I’m sure he is thinking about the demon.
“You have my number?” I say for the third or fourth time.
Nia nods. “Yes, and you have mine?”
I nod. “You’ll—”
“I’ll call you if…if there’s anything to report.”
I push at the dirt beneath my feet with the toe of my boot. “I wish you’d wait a few weeks. You don’t even have to stay