said the same thing to Nate not ten minutes ago, but hearing my father’s disdain at the thought I might have chosen a man over my career aggravated me. Besides, we’d already covered this topic. “Dad, I told you he has nothing to do with me not being in Jupiter right now.”
“I know, son, but I had to ask,” he said, slightly less agitated now. “You have to see things from my perspective. My son, who’s always been anxious for the start of spring training, has been off for a while now. And then, I get a call from Brian saying you’d gotten into a fight and walked out before you’d even checked in.”
“What am I, twelve years old?” I bit out before thinking about how much worse I was making the situation. “I’m not a child and I don’t need him calling my dad when I step out of line.”
“Watch your tone,” he warned me. “Brian called because he’s worried about you. The only point everyone agrees on right now is that what you did was completely out of character for you. And to make matters worse, no one is talking about what really happened. Brian was evasive when I asked what led to you losing your temper. The PR team is remaining tight-lipped and sticking to their personal matters lie. And we haven’t talked since the day before you drove up to Jupiter.”
I’d lost count of how many times I’d recounted my first day of spring training. Resisting the urge to throw back my whiskey like a shot, I took a generous sip and set my glass on the end table. I leaned forward, resting my hands on my knees as I told Dad what happened.
Even though I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t jump to tell me I was a whiny brat for being upset, I still worried he’d say I’d overreacted. The clubhouse had been a very different place when he’d been playing, and being different was something everyone knew wasn’t open for discussion.
If I’d been standing when he spoke after I’d finished, I likely would’ve fallen over. “You know I had reservations about you following in my footsteps. I knew you weren’t going to have an easy time of it, and I think that on some level, I always worried something like this was going to happen.”
“And you tried to prepare me for it,” I reminded him. Back when Dad was playing, being gay and out was unheard of. There were players who went to great lengths to keep their secrets, including one who drove to the park after riding in an ambulance with his partner, whom he’d found dead on the floor of the home they shared. He had a game that night, and since no one knew he’d been in love, he had to play through the pain.
Dad had told me that story more than once, always with the wish that times had changed enough I’d never have to experience that type of anguish.
“I’m sorry if you felt pressured to keep playing,” he apologized, unable to make eye contact. I’d been prepared for him to be upset with me, but seeing him mentally chastising himself was something I couldn’t take. “You need to do what’s best for you, PJ. And if that means you decide to retire, I’ll fully support your decision. It’s taking everything in me to not call Brian and ask him what in the hell he’s thinking. I don’t give a damn if he’s been one of my best friends for decades. He’s lost touch with his team, and it’s got to stop before someone gets hurt.”
“Please Dad, don’t,” I begged. Being the kid of a former player was hard enough without his protective instincts kicking in. “I’ve already talked to Doyle about trading me to Milwaukee. If that’s impossible, we’ll see about getting Miami to release me from my contract.”
“They’re not going to like that idea,” he told me. Doyle had already told me Miami wasn’t going to release me without a fight. Miami made no secret of the fact that I was one of their key players, but they hadn’t done a damn thing to create a safe environment for me to keep playing. “Maybe sit down and talk to Brian, tell him what happened. I know him well enough to know he wouldn’t stand for that crap going on in his clubhouse.”
I slumped back in my seat, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I know