to check my reaction, while allowing the assholes to keep on giving me shit.
When I told him how I’d gone after Mercer and then come out to everyone before storming out of the clubhouse, Clint gasped. Yeah, that was huge for me. Until earlier today, he and his friends were the only ones in the game who knew for certain that I was gay. But it was worth coming out, because even if I never suited up again, I was finally free to live my life my way. When I finished, the silence drew out long enough I wondered if the call had dropped. It wouldn’t surprise me, this far off the beaten path.
“Damn, that’s one hell of a day.” Clint sighed. “I’m not sure what to say about all of that. Have you talked to Doyle yet?”
“No, I didn’t feel like listening to him tell me what an idiot I was to walk away from millions of dollars for someone I don’t even know.” No matter what I said, there was no doubt in my mind everyone was going to think I did this for Nate.
He was a catalyst, but he wasn’t to blame for me storming out. That was all because I was exhausted from having to think about everything I did, everything I said, all the damn time. I was infuriated by the fact that, no matter what anyone tried to say about baseball working to be the most inclusive professional sport in the country, most clubhouses hadn’t gotten the memo.
Sure, they held promotional nights to make sure they kept up the appearance of being an ally to the LGBT community, but that was as far as it went. Hell, Miami should be one of the most welcoming clubs in the league, but that was far from reality.
“Okay, I’m going to ask you a question and I don’t want you getting pissed off,” Clint warned me. He paused long enough to give me an opportunity to object before continuing. “Are you doing this for that kid?”
“No,” I responded without a second of hesitation.
“Good, because after seeing the two of you at breakfast that morning, I think you like him.” Of course I liked Nate. He was one of the only people I’d met in years who didn’t expect a damn thing out of me. Being with him would be so damn easy, because he wouldn’t put unrealistic expectations on me or think that me not asking him to be my plus one for events had anything to do with being ashamed of him. He understood me more in an hour than most people ever could. But this wasn’t high school. Liking someone or thinking they were cute wasn’t enough to build a relationship. “Have you talked to him? I know you had to leave early, but the way you kept checking him out and making sure he didn’t need anything, I was surprised when you barely even said goodbye to him.”
“Damn, Clint. This isn’t some rom-com on TV,” I criticized. Clint was a great guy and I was happy for him, but he’d changed. Our quasi-relationship had fallen apart because he didn’t want a serious commitment and he bailed as soon as I told him I did. He wasn’t the type to wax poetic about a brief encounter. “If you must know, he’s actually on his way to pick me up.”
Clint choked on something and I laughed while he coughed, trying to catch his breath. “Shit, seriously? You can’t talk to me or anyone else, but you called him to come and save you? Are you sure you’re not walking away because of him?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” I insisted. “It wasn’t planned. He called me earlier today to let me know he and his brother were heading to Florida for spring training. Apparently, they’d planned on visiting all the parks down here between now and opening day, and he wanted to give me a heads-up so I wasn’t surprised when they came to Jupiter.”
“And now he’s on his way to pick you up,” Clint repeated.
“Yeah, is that a problem?” I asked, my patience running thin. “Look, today hasn’t been my best day. After I walked out, I got on the highway with no clue where I was going. I just needed to drive to clear my head. When that didn’t work, I took some backroads and wound up at a bar in the middle of nowhere.”
“Damn, dude,” Clint groaned. “You sure you’re okay?”
I knew what he was getting