stuffed in one of those body bags, and each and every guy who arrives here with an arm or leg blown off. I live with you, eat scoff with you, have a laugh with you, even use the same drums to dump in as you, but you know what?’ A tear started to roll down her face and she brushed it away angrily. ‘Bring on Glasgow’s house fires, car crashes and Saturday night stabbings. If I can’t save them, then at least I don’t have to be mates with them.’
A helicopter flew over our heads and interrupted her outburst. We both looked up towards the sky, as if we could see through the canvas above us. ‘That’ll be for John.’ Emma went back into medical mode again. ‘The rest will be here soon to get you lot back out on the ground.’
The sound of the heli got louder as I opened the tentflap. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I turned just before I made my exit, ‘Talk to Sergeant MacKenzie, Emma. Please.’
Chapter Thirteen
I went back to the tent and Toki helped me finish the bluey to my dad before evening scoff. There wasn’t so much piss-taking now as everyone had the Green Zone on their minds, including me. MacKenzie had given Toki the go-ahead. I was going back out to the Green Zone with the rest of the lads that night.
After scoff, I spent quarter of an hour queuing for the phone. I thought I’d better call Mum again. She’d only get herself in a state otherwise. She sounded OK as soon as she realized it was me. She sounded like the happy, smiling mum off the Oxo adverts, but I wasn’t falling for it that easily.
‘Mum. Listen, sorry about the call earlier.’
‘That’s all right.’ She was so cheery, she sounded like she was offering me a KitKat. ‘I know I get a bit worked up sometimes, David. You know, being on my own and all that.’
I think she was hoping we could leave it there, but I needed to get through to her once and for all. ‘Look, Mum, I think we have to have a straight-up talk. I don’t blame you for me being in the army. I chose to be here. It’s what I want. I like being a soldier. Nobody made me join the army, and the day I don’t like it any more, I’ll get out. I’m a man now, Mum, I’m proud of myself. You’ve done a brilliant job. You know that, don’t you?’
I heard her sniff then, trying to fight back the tears. Her voice quivered as she spoke. ‘I tried so hard. It’s just that it felt like you left me cos I didn’t do enough for you when you were younger. I wanted to be there but …’
She had it all wrong, as usual. It was nothing to do with that. ‘Mum, it’s OK, I know. You should be proud of what you have done for me. I am. Listen, everything is good. We’re OK, yeah?’
She gave another big sniff and started to recover a little. ‘Yeah, course we are.’ She gave a little laugh to prove it. I kept going with what I wanted to say. ‘That’s good, because I got to tell you stuff … I’ve sent a letter to Dad.’
‘Oh, David …’ The crying immediately started again.
‘Mum, if you can’t help him, I’ve got to. He needs help, Mum. That’s why I wrote to him, Mum. You understand?’
Her crying was getting louder now.
‘Mum, you OK?’
She pulled herself together then and put her cheery Oxo mum voice back on. ‘Yeah, I’m all right. You’ve always been a good boy. I just miss you. It’s not easy being on my own. Sometimes I even miss your dad. Even when he was being a bastard, at least he was here.’ She laughed at her own bad joke.
‘I know you miss him, Mum. I know.’
She was off down memory lane again now. I’d heard it all before, but funnily enough, I quite liked her going on about how things used to be. Made us sound like a proper family for once.
‘We used to love dancing. Disco mad, your dad and I were. He was a right John Travolta.’ We both laughed at the image of Dad doing a bit of Saturday Night Fever on the dance floor.
‘Bet both of you looked a nightmare in flares and platforms, Mum.’
‘We looked fantastic!’
Just then the phone beeps started to go. I spoke