laughter. ‘That’s what you get for having a go at my music.’
I smiled like I thought it was all a fantastic joke, but I wasn’t letting her get away with it that easily. ‘That was bad. What about your Hippy oath thing?’
She laughed again. ‘I haven’t taken an oath, you dickhead. I’m a medic, not a doctor. Besides, you can’t blame me. It was just too good to keep to myself.’
I undid my combats and lay on the bench again, carefully pulling my underpants down along with my trousers, so as not to disturb the wound that was trying hard to scab up. I turned my head to one side to watch her as she came over.
‘I do blame you. I’ve been ripped apart all day.’
She showed no pity, though. ‘Well, tough. The deed is done. Now, let’s have a quick look. How has it been?’
‘Fine now, thanks. I reckon it’s better.’ Then I ruined it by flinching big time as she ripped off the dressing and started prodding me.
‘Yeah, right.’ She wasn’t fooled by my speedy recovery act. ‘I can tell it’s still painful, but at least there’s no weeping. Looks like it’s healing well. I’ll just give it another quick clean.’
I hoped she was feeling a bit guilty about telling the others, so I made my move. I twisted my head round further to try and make eye contact. ‘Can you tell Sergeant MacKenzie I’m good to go, then? It would make up for making me look like a right idiot.’
‘Your trouble is, you have no sense of humour.’ So far, so good, at least I’d got a smile out of her.
‘Yeah, that’s right. It’s a laugh a minute being known as the man who needs two lots of bog paper.’ I looked back down at the plastic floorboards again.
Emma didn’t respond. She was too busy doing her cleaning and swabbing stuff. It hurt like hell, but I tried to talk through the pain.
‘Talk to Sergeant MacKenzie for me? Please, Emma.’
‘We’ll see … There. You’re done.’ And with that, she walked back to the desk and started to write up some medical notes. As I got dressed, I couldn’t help but stare at the big black body bag again.
‘John.’ I hadn’t realized I had said his name out loud until she answered.
‘What about him?’
I didn’t even know why I was asking. ‘Can I see him? You must have cleaned him up by now.’
Emma’s voice was softer, kinder. ‘You sure that’s what you want?’
I gave a nod. ‘Yeah. Quick goodbye before he goes.’
Emma put down her pen and turned off the Chili Peppers. There was a long zip noise as she slowly opened the body bag so just his face was showing. She didn’t want me to see the wounds. We both stared at John for a while without speaking. It looked almost like he was sleeping, but his face looked weird. His skin was grey, not sunburnt like it was yesterday. It was Emma who broke the silence. She sounded like she was trying to put a brave face on it.
‘Don’t worry, he will look a lot cleaner by the time his family gets to see him. They’ll put make-up on him and wash his hair. He should get to Kandahar tonight. He’ll be back home soon.’
I couldn’t find any words. ‘Uh-huh,’ is all that came out. There was another long pause before Emma spoke again. Her voice was small and less sure than usual. ‘First body you’ve seen?’
‘Well, first one of us. Talis don’t count, do they?’
‘Not good, is it? You all right?’
I swallowed hard. ‘Yeah. He doesn’t really look like John any more with that skin, does he? Know what I mean?’
She asked me again. ‘Sure you’re OK?’ I could only nod in response.
‘Well, I’m not,’ she sounded upset as she zipped up the body bag. ‘I don’t think I can go on looking at dead soldiers much longer.’
That surprised me as I would have thought she’d be used to it. Now there was no holding her back.
‘I am TA and this is my third and final tour, Briggsy.’ Her voice wavered slightly as she spoke.
‘You getting some of those stress symptoms you told me about, then?’
‘No. Course not. I’m a paramedic back home. I’ve seen more blood and guts than you ever will. But you know what? This is different.’
I looked her in the eye and waited to find out why.
‘Because I know John. I’ve known all of them. I know each and every guy