squat over. And once they were full of the FOB’s shit and piss, it was our job to get rid of it all.
I lifted the cap off the jerry can I was holding and poured the fuel into the first drum. Flash did the same with the second.
Si watched us both as he giggled away to himself. ‘You see the faces of those Yanks in here last week? When they saw we had oil drums to dump in, they couldn’t believe it. Bet they get proper portaloos with, like, soft toilet paper and little Andrex puppies running around.’
He was probably right, but then that meant they weren’t getting extra pay to burn them out like we were. Thirty-five quid extra a week we got for volunteering for this job. Good stuff! I’d already managed to save up two and a half grand since joining the army, and the extra money was going to add to my savings.
My big plan was to buy a brand-new, black metallic Ford Focus ST. It was going to have the lot. Shiny badge on the front, eighteen-inch alloys, tinted windows, LEDs and the biggest woofer banging it out that Peckham had ever heard. I couldn’t wait!
I wasn’t the only one saving. Si was doing the same, although his purchase wasn’t half as exciting as mine. Good. It was my chance to take the piss out of him for once. But I had to set him up for it first.
‘Si, what colour’s your new sofa gonna be?’ I asked.
He beamed with pride. ‘Red leather from DFS. Love it.’ Si made it sound like he was buying a red BMW.
Flash slapped me around the back of the head.
‘That’s what happens when you get married. You sign up to a new boss; IKEA.’ Flash spoke with the voice of someone who had been at it for years. ‘Ain’t that right, Si?’ He was busy laughing as I rubbed the back of my nut.
‘Yep. And I’ve got tons of kit to get. Sofa, leather chairs, and I wanna get a proper cot for the baby.’
I couldn’t let that one go. I was in for the kill. ‘See! Only nineteen and under the thumb already. What a sucker.’
Si leapt to defend himself as Flash gave me another slapping. ‘Mate, I had to get married before coming out here, didn’t I? Jakob’s only six months old. What’s gonna happen if I get zapped and we ain’t married? Anna will go back to Poland and the boy won’t even have my name. I had my mum’s name because she never married my dad and that ain’t happening this time.’
He had a point, so I decided to give up on the piss-take. Besides, Flash’s slaps were getting harder every time. I signalled to the other two to stand back, then I took a box of matches out of my pocket. I struck one and threw it into the first stinking drum and we legged it fast. There was a big boom, then a whoosh as the flames roared into life and the turds began to burn.
Flash walked over to the second drum and took out his box of matches. ‘You still got her picture inside your helmet, Si?’
‘Yeah. And the boy’s too.’
Flash chucked his match in and ran back to join us. We were still close enough to the heat and the stench of the burning drums for me to feel sick rise in my throat, but I swallowed it down. ‘What you saving for, Flash?’
‘Not saving, mate, surviving. I keep telling you lads. There’s a recession on out there. I’m here to help out my boys. Joe’s getting married next year and Sam’s got the world’s biggest student loan. I’m definitely going regular after this. Get the kids sorted and get me and me missus a nice married quarter. Happy days.’ It sounded like a good plan to me and I nodded my head in approval.
‘You know what?’ Flash gave a big grin. ‘I don’t mind being the oldest Rifleman on the planet and you lads giving me a hard time. It’s ten times better than doing nothing back home, having to beg for money from the social. Getting made redundant has done me a favour.’
He jutted out his chin as if a heli was coming in to land on it. ‘I like it here.’
I thought I’d had it bad being binned from the kebab shop in Peckham after only a week. They’d sacked me because I couldn’t work the till properly.