me and do your own pole dance? No.”
“Good thing,” I said. “I’m not the best dancer, and I’m not that good in heels, either.”
He laughed, fortunately. “That’s what you took from that. OK, then. Did I ask you to go to a … I’m having trouble coming up with something inappropriate enough. Anyway. No. I asked if you wanted to go to dinner. With candlelight and wine. There could even be flowers involved, as somebody mentioned to me recently that she liked flowers. Some woman, can’t remember who. We could snuff out the candles and have fizzy drinks instead, I guess, if that’s more comfortable. Or if you’re scared of burning yourself.”
I said, “I’m not scared of burning myself. I’m scared of … Well, I’m not scared, I’m just …”
“That I’ll kiss you again, and this time, you won’t like it?” he asked. “That I’ll touch you and you’ll say, ‘Too fast, boy? Back off?’ Got news for you. That’s happened. I know how to back off.”
“Oh,” I said. “Well, that’s good, then.”
He stopped running. I noticed, because Xena, who’d been taking some forays into the surf, came running back as if she had eyes for him in the back of her head. I turned around, jogged back, and asked, “What? You’re offended? See, I told you you’d be offended.”
“No,” he said. “I stopped because I wanted to hold your hand.”
It was the last thing I’d expected. He stood there, held out his hand, and waited. And I took it.
The sun was setting. The sky over the sea was shading from yellow near the horizon to pale purple above, the sun breaking through the mass of clouds and slanting in golden beams onto the perfect, pale blue of the sea. Along the edge of the shoreline, black-and-white stilts walked on their comical, impossibly long, orange legs, searching for their dinner amidst the wrack of seaweed. And Gray held my hand, laced his fingers through mine, lifted my hand to his lips, and kissed it. After that, he turned it over and kissed my palm, his dark eyes still looking into mine, and I couldn’t breathe.
He said, “I’m not going to hurt you. I meant what I said. Slow as you like. When you say stop, it means stop.”
“Oh … OK,” I managed to get out, and somehow, I’d taken a couple steps closer.
He didn’t let go of my hand. He put it on his chest instead and said, “Can you feel my heart?”
“Yes.” I had my palm flat over the spot where the tattoo would be, curving in a spiral, hidden away like the secret inside of a shell. I kept it there, and I felt it. His heart, beating steady and strong. His warmth, radiating out toward me.
He put his hand over mine, holding it there, looked into my eyes, not a trace of a smile on his dark, beautiful, tough-as-nails face, and said, “It’s here for you, you know. Today, and tomorrow, and the next day. And so am I. Uncertainty or not. So am I.”
42
Surprises
Gray
Well, that hadn’t been putting myself out there much. I tried to worry about it, and failed. We resumed our run home, and I could tell that something in Daisy had settled. She was moving free and easy, and that felt good to me.
Saturday night. Tomorrow night. I could do that.
When we got back, I told her, “Shower. Five minutes, and I’ll come have my share of that dinner. Looks like Dorian and Chelsea are still here, anyway.”
“Possibly a pity,” she said, and I laughed.
When I turned up at the door again with Xena, though, Daisy was still in her running clothes. I said, “You didn’t get your shower?”
She said, “Gray. Something’s happened.” She had her hand on my forearm, possibly forgetting that she was meant to freeze up around me.
Nobody was on the deck anymore. Mum and Iris, Dorian and Chelsea were all at the dining table, and the girls were perched at the island. Mum looked calm. Nobody else did. I said, “What?”
Mum said, “Amanda rang up an hour or so ago. My neighbor. Said there’s been a fire at the house.”
Daisy said, “I’m so sorry, Gray. I should’ve realized.”
“What,” I said, “that your ex would try to burn down my house? I assume that’s what we’re talking about. Had advance knowledge of that, did you? No, you shouldn’t have realized. How could you? And would you go take your shower, please? You’re shivering.”
She stopped looking worried and miserable and glared