“You’re already involved, whether you like it or not.”
He stared down at me, his mouth twisted in a scowl. “No, I’m not.”
My face fell at the coldness in his voice. “I thought you cared about us.”
“Listen, Nor. If you or Zadie or Samiel need me, I will be there for you. All you have to do is ask.”
I searched his eyes, but they were impossible to read. “I’m asking now. Stay here. We need your help.”
“With what? Strategy? I don’t know how to plan the kind of assault Talia wants. I defend Fort Crag; that’s all.”
He was right. Talia didn’t need him. She didn’t even like him. But the thought of Roan leaving made me feel hollow inside. Despite his teasing and constant pushing, I respected him, and it scared me that he thought Talia was a tyrant. Having the Galethians present meant we weren’t alone, that we were doing the right thing. Once, I wouldn’t have needed anyone else to tell me what that was.
“I just...”
“What, Nor?” He placed a hand on my arm, his eyes searching mine. I knew in that moment that if I told him to stay because I wanted him to, he would. I’d been fooling myself to pretend that his teasing wasn’t hiding something else. But if I asked him to stay, it would be purely selfish. I valued his friendship, but I knew deep down that wasn’t what he wanted from me.
I clenched my jaw and stepped back. His hand slipped away.
“Goodbye,” he said as I turned back toward Talia’s tent.
Talin was standing in the entrance, watching us. I blinked away my tears and smiled at him. He didn’t smile back.
23
I didn’t see Talin again until that night. I had been assigned a tent with Ebb, Adriel, and Zadie, but as soon as I’d eaten and changed, I asked a soldier for directions to Talin’s tent and slipped inside to wait.
I was asleep on his pallet when a cool breeze woke me. It was dark inside, the candle having burned out hours ago. I sat up, waiting for my eyes to adjust.
“What are you doing here?” Talin asked.
I pulled the blanket up to cover myself, feeling more exposed by the coldness in his voice than the night air. “I was waiting for you.”
He sighed and removed his leather jerkin, then relit the candle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. Osius returned after nightfall.”
“Did he learn anything?”
“Yes, though nothing particularly promising.”
I waited for him to continue, but he sat down on the edge of the pallet and put his head in his hands. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it anymore tonight.
I crawled over to him, placing my hands on his shoulders. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. I was so worried something had happened to you. I underestimated just how slow you would travel.”
“So did we, but it worked as a distraction, at least. You didn’t encounter any problems on your way south?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry about your parents. We staked out New Castle for a couple of days, but if Ceren was gone, he wasn’t far enough away. His sentries were on strict orders not to let anyone enter. Even the Ilarean we brought from Galeth couldn’t get in. We decided we were better off joining my mother and telling her what we’d learned, even without reinforcements.”
I told him about our journey, how we’d been attacked by Ceren’s men and the guards in Riaga. “I’m just glad we’re all together again,” I said, kneading the stiff muscles in his shoulders.
Talin groaned and leaned into my touch. “I didn’t realize how sore I was. The battle yesterday took more out of me than I thought.”
After a few minutes, he placed his hands on mine and pulled me around to face him.
“I know you saw me talking to Roan,” I said. “It upset you.”
“He had his hand on your arm, Nor. It looked like more than a friendly goodbye. I know you spent a lot of time together on the road. It wouldn’t surprise me if something happened. But...”
I placed a finger on his lips. “Nothing happened, Talin. Roan and I are friends. At this point, I’m not even sure you can call us that.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Why?”
I considered telling him what Roan said about Talia, but when I looked into his eyes and saw how exhausted he was, I couldn’t add to his burden. “Nothing important,” I said. “I’m just disappointed the Galethians won’t help.”
“I