so strange and sudden.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“And third and fourth and—”
He leaned down and kissed me, his lips much colder than they’d been last night. I wanted to remove his rain-soaked clothing and warm him myself, but I knew we didn’t have much time.
“It’s not too late to change your mind,” he said.
“I know, but I won’t be any use at Fort Crag. I think I might be able to learn how Ceren is using the bloodstones here.” I glanced at the book, which I’d set on the long wooden table. It was thicker than any book I’d ever read. But if it could explain the bond I seemed to have with Ceren, and if there was any way I could use it to understand his plans, I had to try.
Talin tucked my hair behind my ears. “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”
Back in New Castle, I had been scared and worried a hundred times, but I had been sure of my decisions. Saving Ceren at the lake had been the right thing to do, just like escaping by any means necessary had been.
But since my return to Varenia, I wasn’t sure about anything. Had leaving my parents in Varenia been the right thing to do? Had I been foolish to let Talin come to Galeth with us, when it seemed highly unlikely he’d get the troops he needed? Should I try to save my parents right away, rather than potentially waste more time?
I couldn’t answer any of those questions. Instead, I pulled Talin’s mouth back to mine, kissing him.
“Time to go, lovebirds.”
We broke apart at the sound of Roan’s voice. He was watching us from the doorway without a hint of shame. “Terribly sorry to interrupt, but we really do need to get going.”
I glared at him. “Has anyone ever told you you’re the worst?”
Roan shrugged and turned to leave, but not before I caught an amused glint in his eye.
When he was gone, Talin dropped one last kiss onto my lips, whispered goodbye, and followed Roan into the rain. I watched him go, a pit forming in my stomach at the realization that as uncertain as the future was, it was guaranteed to be full of more painful farewells.
And for the first time since leaving Varenia, I sat down on the floor and cried.
* * *
My tears subsided along with the rain, and I could no longer ignore the pangs of hunger in my empty stomach. I knocked sheepishly on Adriel’s door, opening it a crack when there was no answer.
She was stirring a pot of something that smelled spicy and delicious, and when she turned toward me, her smile was warm and open. “I thought you’d get hungry eventually.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, removing my boots and setting them by the fire to dry properly. “I think I’m just tired.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You’re allowed to be sad, or tired, or even just annoyed with Roan.”
I snorted and rubbed at my cheeks, which were tight from my dried tears. “It’s not just that. Ceren attacked Varenia when we escaped. I have no idea what happened to my family, and it feels as if time is slipping through my fingers like water.”
“Here.” She placed two bowls of soup on the table and gestured for me to sit. “This will help.”
“Why?” I eyed the spoonful in my hand skeptically. “Did you put something in it?”
She laughed. “Yes, if you count chicken, potatoes, carrots, and leeks as ‘something.’”
“Oh,” I said, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I don’t really understand how magic works, I guess.”
She raised a quizzical brow.
“Not your kind of magic, anyway.”
“They say Varenians live longer than any other people,” she said, watching me take a sip of broth. It was so delicious I almost groaned. “That you heal remarkably fast. That your waters make you healthy and strong.”
I nodded. “That’s all true.”
“And you don’t think that’s magic?”
I chewed on a chunk of potato, considering. “I suppose I always thought of that as nature. We die, our bodies nourish the blood coral, which in turn nourishes the ocean, which then nourishes us. It’s a cycle of life and death, not magic.”
“Hmm,” she said, still watching me.
I realized I’d eaten nearly half my bowl of soup and set my spoon down. She hadn’t taken a single bite. “Do you consider that magic?”
“I think the world is full of magic. It’s in the air and the water and the soil and the trees. But only some of us are capable of