risk. Danger was always going to be inherent to the plan.”
“I hate the plan,” he murmured into my hair. “Just promise me one thing.”
“What?”
He sighed, a soft puff of air against my skin. “That when you’re in a position to do something bold and reckless and Nor-ish, you remember how much I love you.”
It was the first time he’d said it out loud, and the words spread warmth throughout my chest. “Fine,” I said, smiling. “But you have to promise me something, too.”
He nodded.
“That when you decide to do something heroic and brash and Talin-ish, that you remember that I love you, too.”
He leaned back to look me in the eye, and there was so much hope and fear there that my heart swelled with tenderness. His voice was almost too quiet to hear when he asked, “Are you sure?”
I rolled my eyes. “Honestly, Talin, the nonsense that comes out of your mouth.”
His lips twitched in a grin. “Do you remember what happened the last time you said that to me?”
“I do indeed. So what are you waiting for this time?”
When he kissed me, I knew he didn’t actually doubt my love for him. And I knew that I didn’t doubt it, either. I wanted to stay there with him forever, but the rest of the group was waiting for our decision. We walked back in the room hand in hand, and Roan smiled.
“I knew you’d do the right thing,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if he was talking to Talin or me.
* * *
Talin, Grig, Osius, and Ceren’s guard headed east that afternoon so they could cross the border into Ilara under cover of darkness. The odds that Ceren would have men watching that border were slim—it led into far northern Ilara, which was uninhabited—but the Galethians had promised to help them cross the border safely, with the councilmember from the nearest fort escorting them.
I watched them go from the top of a hill, clutching Zadie’s hand as they disappeared around a curve in the road. Until I left Varenia the first time, I didn’t have any practice with goodbyes. Now I understood that they wouldn’t get easier. Difficult things, I was learning, never did. You simply got stronger.
“Is this a stupid plan?” I asked Zadie. “Should we have stayed together?”
She shook her head. “It’s not a stupid plan. But I understand why you’re questioning it.” She sat down on the grass and motioned for me to join her. “When were you going to tell me about Ceren and the visions?” she asked. There was no accusation in her voice, only hurt.
“I’m sorry, Zadie. I should have told you when I told Talin. I was just afraid of worrying you unnecessarily, when I didn’t even know what they meant.”
“Silly Nor. Don’t you know I was worried about you anyway? I always know when you’re keeping something from me. I didn’t push you because I knew you’d tell me when you were ready. But I can’t help wishing you’d told me sooner. Not that it would have changed the outcome, but because I might have at least offered you some comfort.”
I stared down at my hands folded in my lap. “I just feel like I’m constantly bringing trouble to the people I love, when all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
She placed one of her hands over mine. “I know that, Nor. And so do Talin and Sami. Father knows, and even Mother, I think.”
I raised my eyes to hers. “Then stay in Galeth with Sami. Stay so I’ll know that at least two of the people I love will be safe.”
“Nor—”
“You and Sami could have a good life here,” I insisted. “This journey will be dangerous, and there’s nothing you and Sami can do that the Galethians and I can’t. It’s me that Ceren wants. There’s no reason for you and Sami to risk yourselves.”
I trailed off when I saw that her expression hadn’t changed a bit.
“Are you finished?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I suppose so.”
“Good. Now it’s my turn. When you went to Ilara, I experienced the worst pain I’d ever felt. The sting from the maiden’s hair jellyfish was nothing compared to the agony of your loss. I put on a brave face because I didn’t want you to leave thinking I wouldn’t be all right without you. But even Sami’s banishment didn’t hurt me as much, perhaps because I’d already become numb. I don’t know.”
“Zadie—”
She started to raise a hand to cover