she had given up on it long ago.
“Be careful,” she had warned before retiring for the evening. “Blood magic is—”
“Messy,” I’d finished for her. “I’m not planning on doing any, I promise.”
She had smiled, lingering in the doorway for a moment as if there was something more she wanted to say. I had breathed a sigh of relief when she’d turned and closed the door behind her.
But she hadn’t been wrong about the book being confusing. I hadn’t made it more than two pages before I was lost among the words, rereading the same lines several times before giving up and moving on. The writer used tall, narrow script, so uniform that as my eyes grew tired, the letters all began to bleed together, making it difficult to discern an L from an I and a U from a V. After a while, I started to wonder if the letters were actually rearranging themselves on purpose to trick me.
I set the book aside, still not sleepy, and forced myself to close my eyes. My thoughts turned instantly to Zadie. I didn’t like being away from her after everything I’d been through to get back to her, but I knew I’d done the right thing in giving her and Sami space. Something told me that they would soon cross the line to lovers, marriage or no marriage. The thought was oddly painful, a deep ache in my chest. I was happy for them, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was being left behind, that Zadie was moving past me into something that I might never be able to understand.
And there was something about Galeth that didn’t feel right to me. Not dangerous, per se, but almost as if it were a bit rotten around the edges, like a seaflower beginning to wilt. I admired the true equality of its citizens, how much freedom women had in choosing their own paths, though even that was something of an illusion. Otherwise, Adriel would not be an outcast, something I could empathize with all too well. And while passing down leadership through the father the way we did in Varenia or Ilara had always seemed arbitrary and unwise, being the strongest rider in your region didn’t seem to be the best qualifier, either.
My restless thoughts turned to Talin, who was probably sound asleep after a hard day of riding. He wouldn’t mind sleeping in a barracks with other soldiers. He’d had his own living quarters at Old Castle, but he never put himself above his men, other than to lead them. While Ceren believed the throne was his by right and anyone standing in his way was merely an obstacle, Talin followed a moral compass that pointed due north.
I wished he was with me. Another squall had rolled in, and a sudden burst of rain pelted the windows, making Fox sit up. Lightning flashed somewhere in the distance, followed several heartbeats later by the sound of thunder. The candle had burned down, and the total darkness reminded me too much of the New Castle dungeon.
I was used to storms since I grew up at sea. Once, a massive wave had nearly taken off our entire roof. Some of our belongings had washed away, and other families had lost their boats and docks. I wasn’t nearly as vulnerable on land, I reminded myself.
Then a burst of lightning came at the same time as the loudest clap of thunder I’d ever heard, and I sat bolt upright, sending Fox darting into the shadows. Heart pounding, I was half tempted to run to Adriel. She was probably used to this, living out here all alone. I could feel an all-too-familiar tightening in my chest, the kind that would normally be quelled by submerging myself in water. But I wasn’t going to get that now.
Without thinking, I flew out of bed, pulled on my riding boots, and sprinted out into the rain in my shift. I thought perhaps just being outside would release some of my rising panic, but it was the movement that seemed to help, strangely. I was strong from riding, and though my boots weren’t designed for it and my shift was soaked through and clinging to me, I found that running came easily.
A blinding flash of white came out of nowhere. For a moment, I was sure I had been struck by lightning. But there was no pain following the light. It was as if I had left the rainy fields and was