might bug out of my head. ‘Everyone?’
‘Well, okay, not everyone. A few people. I’m his ex. People like to keep me informed.’
‘Well, their information is not accurate.’
‘Where are you going in such a hurry?’
‘Brunswick.’
‘Need a lift?’
I look at her, to see if she’s being serious. ‘Can you drive?’
‘I wouldn’t be offering if I couldn’t.’
‘No, I mean, have you been drinking?’
‘Not a drop. I don’t drink.’
‘What, at all?’
‘Not at the moment.’
‘Do you take…anything else?’
‘I am currently one hundred per cent sober in every way and offering you a ride to Brunswick. Take it or leave it.’
I have a million anxieties about being in an enclosed space with Vanessa, but my desire to get to Lucy as fast as possible overrides all of them.
‘Yes. I’ll take it. Thank you.’
She smiles. ‘Great. This party sucks and I was so ready to leave. Owen is off his head and I can’t stand to be around him a second longer.’
Every negative thought I might have ever had about Vanessa evaporates in that moment.
She’s wearing a neon-coloured flower crown, hot pink lipstick, and a white dress that is breathtakingly short, almost see-through and I want to buy one immediately even though I would never wear it.
I follow behind her as she walks towards an old station wagon.
‘Do you need to tell anyone you’re leaving?’ I say.
‘Nope.’
She unlocks the door and I get into the passenger seat. Her car is messy, really messy, but she doesn’t seem to care.
‘Just push all that stuff out of your way,’ she says. I lift clothes, papers and a bike helmet and put them on the backseat. There is dog hair all over everything.
‘My dog sheds. A lot. Hope you’re not allergic.’
‘No, all good.’
She has a dog. She is everything I have ever dreamed of being. I am one step away from wanting to steal her identity.
As we pull away, I see Alex out of the corner of my eye, on the street, watching us drive away, his zinc-smeared face looking confused.
My phone starts ringing and his name flashes on my screen. I don’t answer and seconds later a text appears.
— Did I just see you in Vanessa’s car??????
It’s thrilling to not reply and leave him wondering. I am a woman of mystery—he cannot fathom my layers.
‘Where are we going?’ Vanessa asks.
‘Brunswick.’
‘I know, but where in Brunswick?’
‘I don’t know yet. A street in Brunswick.’
She gives me a look I pretend not to see. I dial Lucy’s number, but it rings out. ‘Shit.’
‘What?’
‘She’s not answering.’
‘Who are we talking about?’
‘Lucy. My friend. She called me, really drunk, and asked me to come get her. I know she’s somewhere in Brunswick, but that’s it.’
‘Don’t worry, finding drunk people is my specialty.’
Vanessa is a very calming presence, I decide.
‘She’s probably in a pub or something and it’s really loud,’ Vanessa continues.
‘She was outside when I spoke to her before.’
‘We’ll find her.’
‘What if she’s passed out somewhere?’
‘We’ll find her,’ she says again. Her voice is firm. I believe her.
I call Lucy again and again. She doesn’t answer, and I try to stay calm. Her phone is always on silent, she probably hasn’t even noticed it ringing.
‘So, where’s Alex?’ Vanessa asks.
‘Back at the party.’
‘I mean, why isn’t he with us?’
She’s playing the role of my knight in shining armour tonight, so the least I can do is give her some gossip on her ex. ‘We had a fight.’
‘A bad one?’
‘Pretty bad.’
‘Break-up bad?’
I look at her. My trust in her is suddenly wavering. I have no idea if Alex and I have broken up. Possibly. Probably. The words break-up might not be applicable if the words boyfriend and girlfriend haven’t yet been spoken. Whatever is a step down from break-up could be what’s happened. No longer seeing each other. Ending things. Stopping contact. Withdrawing one’s affections. Calling time.
‘Don’t make that face at me. I’m not trying to steal him back,’ she says.
‘Why did you and Alex break up?’ I ask. I know I shouldn’t. I’m breaking a rule. I haven’t even asked Alex this question, and I’m trying to get the story from his ex.
‘Oh, lots of reasons. I had a really hard time in year eleven and twelve. I went off the rails a bit, and I would push him away and then expect him to pick up the pieces when I did stupid things. We broke up and got back together so many times. And we were never going to survive once we finished school.’
She sounds more experienced at life than I’ll be at thirty.
‘But you