sitting between Zach and Alex.
I can see Zach glancing at us all the time out of the corner of his eye, and I keep thinking about his ‘Alex is not going to be your great love story’ comment. I am determined to disprove that theory, but it is difficult under surveillance.
I am seventy per cent sweaty anxiety and thirty per cent paranoia, but that might be pretty normal for a first date, I don’t know.
The movie starts, and it has a creepy doll, which is my least-liked horror trope, and lots of jump scares, my second-least-liked thing about horror films. I am very sensitive to jump scares, and I practically leap out of my seat at the first one, which scares Alex.
‘Jesus, you frightened me more than the movie,’ he whispers.
‘Sorry, I’m not good with horror.’
He lifts the armrest between us, thank god, because I wanted to raise it from the moment we sat down but I wasn’t sure of the etiquette of when that should happen.
I push my face into Alex’s shoulder every time the movie gets scary, and suddenly I’m seeing the appeal of horror movies. Alex smells very, very good. He has a very particular masculine smell that I always imagine handsome celebrities in magazine photoshoots wearing leather jackets and sitting on motorcycles have.
Alex looks at me at one point and smiles, and his eyes do that crinkly thing, and I want to die with how adorable he is.
Then the movie ends and everything goes to hell again.
‘What did you think?’ Lucy asks.
‘It was pretty bad,’ Alex says.
‘That’s rude,’ Zach says.
‘What is?’ Alex says.
‘Telling my girlfriend, who was kind enough to invite you along, that the movie she chose was crap.’
‘Actually, Natalie invited me. And I wasn’t aware we weren’t allowed to criticise the movie.’
‘It’s fine, Alex, of course you can say it wasn’t good,’ Lucy says, making a what-the-hell-are-you-doing face at Zach.
We file out of the cinema in silence and I can feel the tension between Zach and Alex crackling. We reach the foyer, and I turn around, about to say something to Lucy, but Zach speaks before I can.
‘Why are you even here?’ he says to Alex.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t come again,’ Alex says.
‘You won’t be invited again.’
‘What is going on right now?’ I say. Alex and Zach might argue and tease each other a lot, but what is happening now is different—it has undertones of something sour and long-lasting.
‘Zach has a problem with you and me spending time together,’ Alex says, and takes my hand in his, which I don’t like, because I am not here to be a prop in their fight. I let go of his hand, and I see Zach notice me doing it, and I want to shout, That wasn’t for you.
‘Yeah, I do,’ Zach says.
‘Let’s get a hot chocolate!’ Lucy says, with hopeful enthusiasm. She believes in the power of nice warm drink to diffuse a situation. I think she learned it from Mariella, who routinely distracts her sons with food and drink when they are fighting or getting on her nerves—it’s her signature move as a mother.
‘It’s weird that you are going out with Lucy and trying to control Natalie’s love-life at the same time,’ Alex says.
Lucy and I look at each other. This is awkward.
‘No, it’s weird that you’re socialising with me now after years of ignoring the three of us,’ Zach says.
‘Let’s all just take a deep breath and relax for a second,’ Lucy says.
‘Well, what exactly do you want? That Natalie and I never talk to each other again? Is that what would make you happy?’ Alex says.
I am acutely aware that we’re making a scene in the cinema foyer.
‘Yes, to be honest, that would make me happy,’ Zach says.
‘And do you care about what makes me happy?’ I say, because I can’t stand to listen to them fight any longer.
‘Yes. Obviously, I do. That’s what I’m trying to say,’ he says, turning to me.
Alex’s jaw is clenched. ‘You must really think I’m a piece of shit,’ he says to Zach, his voice cracking as he says it.
My heart lurches.
Zach shakes his head. ‘I don’t think that,’ he says, quietly.
‘It seems like you do,’ Alex says.
‘You cheated on Vanessa,’ Zach blurts out.
Oh.
Oh.
This is not a piece of information I can process in front of other people.
‘You cheated on Vanessa, and I don’t want you to cheat on Natalie,’ Zach continues.
‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Alex says.
‘My mum is picking us up in five