bedroom, and she’d been privy to the highlights of my brief relationship with Deacon.
So I’d answered her without hesitation. “Shirts off—both of us. A little over the bra action. Nothing below the waist.” I’d paused. “Although the other night, I was straddling him while we were making out, and what I felt under his pants felt very promising.”
“Oh, baby, I just bet. I mean, you know he’s huge, because look at the rest of him. There’s got to be a good . . . eight or ten inches there, right?”
I’d rolled my eyes. “I don’t know, Jen, but when I get a look, I’ll be sure to have a ruler on hand, okay?”
“Hey, what’s funny?” Noah crooked his neck to see my face. “We haven’t hit any of the humor in the movie yet.”
“Sorry. I was just thinking about something Jenny said the other day.”
“Anything you care to share with me?”
I snorted. “No, I don’t think so. It was girl talk. If I told you and she found out you knew, she’d never be able to look you in the eye again.”
“So it’s something about me.” Noah sounded intrigued. “Now I really want to hear it.”
“You really don’t. But I promise, it wasn’t something bad. It was just . . . how women talk sometimes. Don’t you have conversations with your guy friends that you wouldn’t want me to hear?”
“Huh.” He considered this, his brows drawing together. “I know some men do. I mean, locker room talk is a real thing, right? But I would never talk in a locker room, or with any of my teammates, about something that was between you and me.”
“Aww, honey, that’s sweet.” I stretched my neck up and kissed the underside of his jaw. “What about your brothers?”
“We used to shoot the shit about girls we dated when we were kids, but then I started dating Ang when I was pretty young. In high school, remember? And I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them what the two of us were doing. It was private, and I had too much respect for her to do that.”
I frowned, thinking. “So . . . you were with Ang from the time you were, what freshmen? And you two never broke up? You never took a break to see other people?”
Noah shook his head. “Never.”
“She was your first? I mean, you lost your virginity to her?”
The ends of his mouth tipped up. “We gave our virginities to each other, yes. When we were juniors.”
Something shocking clicked into place for me. “You’ve never had sex with anyone but Angela?” I heard the note of surprise and anxiety in my own voice.
“No. Why? Is that a problem?” Noah moved so that he could more easily see my face. “I thought you realized it.”
“I never thought about how many people you’d slept with until now.” Or how many he hadn’t. Holy shit. I pushed myself up to my feet. “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going? Are you okay?” Noah turned to watch me pad into the kitchen, where I opened up my fridge and took out the bottle of homemade anisette my uncle had sent to me as a housewarming gift.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need a drink.” I found a shot glass, tipped the bottle over it and hesitated. “Do you want a shot, too?”
Noah let out a long breath. “No, I don’t need a shot. I don’t really understand why you do.”
“This is kind of huge, Noah.” I put the lid back on the bottle and raised the shot glass in Noah’s direction. “Bottom’s up.” The licorice-tasting liquor slid down my throat, creating a warm path as it went and instantly making me feel a little more relaxed.
“Why is it huge?” He sounded unhappy, and I felt terrible.
“Noah, babe, it’s nothing bad about you. This is about me. You only had sex with one other person, and she happened to be your wonderful and beloved wife. That’s intimidating as hell to me. What if I don’t measure up? What if I’m not as good in bed as she was? What if I disappoint you?”
“Emma, come here.” I returned to the sofa, and he tugged me down to sit on his knees. “Listen to me. There is no way you could disappoint me. I’m not planning to compare you to anyone else. If anyone should be nervous here, it’s me. You can pretty much do anything, and I’m going to think it’s amazing and perfect and mind-blowing.