with the players’ families, because that was what Angela wanted to do. Getting back into that world was her recovery goal. But now she’s gone, and there I was—and I almost felt guilty for not enjoying it on her behalf. I know, that sounds crazy, doesn’t it?”
“No.” Sadness tinged Jenny’s voice. “It sucks that she isn’t here to do something that meant so much to her. But you know, Emma, I don’t get the sense that Noah is looking for someone to morph into an Angela clone. I think he likes you for who you are.”
“I can’t even wrap my mind around anything like that right now.” I rubbed my forehead. “On top of everything else, I felt like the outsider at a party for the popular kids tonight. Why is it that we never really get over high school shit? And then in the middle of the women giving me the third degree, Noah’s parents showed up. They’re lovely people, but I think they don’t know quite what to make of me. When Angela’s name came up in conversation, they looked like they wanted to bite off their tongues for mentioning her. I wasn’t sure how to tell them that Noah and I talk about Ang all the time.”
“It’s just a weird situation, Emma.” Jenny reached across to pat my hand. “Seriously. It’s complicated and convoluted and just—well, weird. You hang out with Noah a lot, and he spends almost all his free time with you, but you’re not a couple. You knew and loved his wife. That would be difficult as it is, but then you toss into the mix that you’re still getting over Deacon—”
“I am not still getting over Deacon.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I don’t even think about him anymore. We weren’t like Ang and Noah—we dated for just a little while before he left. We didn’t have years of history. If my pride was hurt when he left abruptly, that’s something I’ve moved past long ago.”
“Uh-huh.” Jenny sounded unconvinced. “Well, however you want to look at it, the fact that you were seeing him and the way he took off plays into this whole messed up situation with Noah.”
“Thanks for that analysis, doc,” I responded dryly. “Are you billing me for this session?”
“Nope, this one’s on the house,” she answered airily. “But cheer up. There’s good news. Once you define your relationship with Noah, things will get easier. Right now, you’re in this uncomfortable limbo. But if you’re dating him, you’ll have more options. People will understand your role, and they’ll feel easier about it.”
“First of all, you’re talking like I’m going to start seeing Noah romantically. I don’t have any plans to do that. Second, I’m not at all sure that anyone would be happy if that did happen. It’s bad enough that people look at me suspiciously when I’m Noah’s friend. If we were dating, I think it would only be worse. Ugh.” I groaned. “I’m too tired to think about this tonight. Can we talk about something else, please?”
“Well, we’re here—this is Nico’s place.” Jenny turned the car into a gated community, pausing to tap a code into the keypad alongside the gatehouse. “So you’re off the hook. But Emma, if you don’t mind some advice—don’t do anything hasty when it comes to pushing Noah away. Give it some time, because I think the two of you could be very happy together.”
“Duly noted.” I reached for my door as she stopped the car in Nico’s driveway, but her next words made me pause for a moment.
“I wasn’t finished. I do think you and Noah would be a very sweet couple, and I think you’d work together. But I also think you need to do some serious soul searching before you make the leap. I don’t want to see you start something with Noah because he’s convenient or because you know he’s in love with you, and you want to make him happy. You have to look out for your own interests, too, Em.”
“I can’t decide if you’re telling me to go for it or to back off.” I rolled my shoulders. “This isn’t helping.”
“I’m not trying to push you in either direction. I only want you to make sure you have your eyes open and think through everything.” She pulled the keys out of the ignition. “And that’s the end of your therapy session tonight. Come on, let’s go inside. My man’s waiting for me.”
As I trailed Jenny