just say . . . it didn’t go well. Not exactly my finest hour.”
“Were you rude to her, Deacon? Were you mean?” Gram threw me a scolding glance. “I hope not. I raised you better.”
“I tried not to be, but then—” In my head, I heard her hissed words: You were just a decent fuck I enjoyed for a little while. “She’s still pretty angry.”
“She has every right.” Gram’s voice was placid. “What you did last year was a dick move, Deacon.”
“Gram!” My mouth dropped open. “Geez. Tell me how you really feel. Don’t hold back.”
“I never have, and I don’t plan to start now. Deacon, I love you, and I’ve long since forgiven you for running off last year with nothing but a phone call to Pop and me. It took me some soul searching and some serious long talks with the Lord, but I did. But then, I’m your grandmother. Emma isn’t.”
I snorted. “I hadn’t noticed that.”
“She was hurt and sad for a long time after you left, Deacon. She tried to hide it, but I could tell. When I started working with her on the cabin, I could tell that she’d lost weight, and I don’t think she was sleeping well. Concentrating on building her new home was a way of taking her mind off you.” Gram brushed an invisible crumb from the table. “Of course, Noah helped with that, too. He’s grand, isn’t he?”
I wanted to roll my eyes. “Yeah, he’s a peach.”
“Don’t sass me, boy. I can send some of those gifts out there back to the North Pole.” But I didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes. “Noah’s a very good man, Deacon. He was grieving, too, when I first knew him. Still is, in some ways, I guess. But Emma was good for him the same way he was for her.”
“How long have they been . . . a couple?” I dreaded to ask the question, but I wanted to know the answer. Okay, maybe wanted to know wasn’t the most accurate phrase.
Gram hummed a little. “Are they a couple? Do you mean they’re dating?”
“Aren’t they?”
“Not to my knowledge. As a matter of fact, unless it happened within the last few days, I know they’re not.”
“They sure looked cozy when I saw them on Saturday. Noah had his hands all over her. And he called her babe.” I couldn’t help grimacing.
“Oh, honey, that’s just Noah. He’s a very affectionate guy, and he and Emma are good friends.”
“So they’re not together?” This changed everything. Or did it? What I’d said to Emma at the hospital on Sunday was still true. What she’d said to me didn’t exactly scream that I had a chance with her. Maybe her relationship status with Noah didn’t matter much.
“Not yet.” Gram’s lips pursed. “But Deacon, don’t you go playing with Emma’s feelings. Even if she’s not dating Noah officially, I think it’s just a matter of time. She deserves that happiness.”
I didn’t answer. Gram studied me, compassion in her eyes. “Are you still in love with her, son?”
“Who said I was ever in love with her?” I shot back. “We dated for a couple of months. Not even that long. We didn’t make any commitments to each other.”
“Maybe not, but I have eyes in my head, and those eyes tell me that you were head over heels for that woman, and it happened long before you started dating. But that’s not the point. The past is the past—my question concerns the future. Are you going to fight for Emma, or are you going to let her get on with her life, probably with Noah?”
I lifted one shoulder. “I don’t know, Gram. I should probably have just stayed away. It would have been better for everyone, I think.”
“Bah.” Gram waved her hand. “Stop with the pity party. You know that’s not true. Everyone’s glad you’re back. Just give people enough time to settle. And that includes Emma.”
“I thought you wanted me to stay out of her way so that she could get hot and heavy with Noah?”
“I didn’t say anything of the kind. I’m not interfering, just curious. But let me give you one piece of advice, Deacon. If you’re not absolutely sure that you want a long-term future with Emma, don’t toy with her. Be certain that you’re making that decision with your heart and your head—not with your pride or your—” She glanced down. “Any other part of you.”
“Geez. Gram.” I felt my face heat.
“Listen to me. You