if he felt a bit lighter about it now. All of that was there, and he still gave those he cared about all of himself. Just like he was doing with me now.
“We didn’t talk,” he said, and I winced.
“No. We didn’t. There wasn’t much talking needed at first.”
He looked at me then, and I wanted to reach out, do something. But I also knew if I leaned forward, we would probably end up having sex in the car and likely get arrested. This was so unlike me. Maybe I was moving too fast. I needed to focus. I needed to do exactly what Beckett was doing.
Focusing.
“I don’t know what I want, Beckett,” I said.
“I know,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I want, either.”
“Is this our first or our second date?” I asked, letting out a hollow laugh.
“I don’t know. It’s our first date here, but I think dinner out more than once at the beach counted as dates. Don’t you?”
“Considering we’ve already slept together more than once; I’m going to go with yes.”
His lips quirked into a tiny smile before he shook his head. “I don’t know where my head is, Eliza. It should be here, and it is in some respects. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to want. I wasn’t expecting you. I wasn’t expecting this.”
That brought a laugh out of me. “And you think I was expecting this? I went to that beach to try to figure out what I needed to do with my future. And then you were there, and things just clicked. I don’t know what I want for the future. I was already married, Beckett. I thought I was happy. Not too long ago, I’d just started thinking about maybe dating again. Nothing serious. But here we are, and you’re my friend, Beckett. It’s always going to be more than just casual with us. Do you get that?”
“Of course, I do. That’s why I kept telling myself I shouldn’t want you. But here we are. I want you, Eliza. I don’t want to not want you. But I also know that women need labels.”
“That’s sexist,” I growled. “You’re the one who brought it up. Clearly, you’re the one who needs labels.”
He sighed. “You’re right. I do. Maybe. Or perhaps we can just say that we’re taking this slowly.”
“Beyond having sex with one another?” I said dryly.
“Sex is serious. I’ve never been one to sleep around.”
“I know that, Beckett.” Even though him reaffirming it in my mind warmed me inside.
“Sex is serious, but we can be serious in our intent about it.”
“If it doesn’t work anymore, if we find that we’re better off as friends, then we walk away and continue our friendship—and stop looking at each other like we want to rip each other’s clothes off.”
He shook his head, a smile playing on his face. “Exactly. You have a way with words.”
“Not always.”
“Well, with me, you do.”
“Okay, then. We’re going to go in there, and we’re going to eat some amazing food. I’m not going to just eat a salad and pretend I don’t eat.”
“Please, get something that you want. It’s probably going to be good and I’ll want to steal some off your plate.”
“We can get a plate of fries for the table,” I added, and he laughed.
“I saw that in a movie once. I like the idea.”
“That way, we always have fries, and we never have to steal those off each other’s plates—even if we’re in a fancy French restaurant. They have the best shoestring fries.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Again, read it in a book. Or was it a movie? As for us, this, I don’t know exactly what I want, Beckett. Things are going really fast. Maybe too fast.”
“Then we take a step back.”
Cold seeped through me. “How far?”
“Our families know that we slept together because we can’t keep secrets.”
“We don’t want to,” I corrected.
“True. And because they’re Montgomerys, and Lee and Brenna count as Montgomerys.”
“True,” I echoed with a laugh.
“Well, since they are Montgomerys, they’re going to be in our business. But we don’t have to let it become more than this.”
“So we date, we hang out. We’ll be each other’s people for things to do when we’re not horribly busy.”
“And you can talk to me. Because I know there are things on your mind.”
Marshall and his family filled my thoughts. Same with my brothers. I swallowed hard.
“I need to talk with the girls. But, yes, it’d be nice to have someone else to talk to.” I