with each breath and yet I had no desire to even begin. Should I work? Should I call my friends? Should I search Natasha’s social media accounts to see what she was up to?
No, that would be wrong. Because I did not want to see that little girl’s face. I didn’t want to see Marshall’s eyes. I needed a fucking drink.
I went over to the fridge and pulled out my bottle of wine, pouring myself a glass. As soon as I took my first sip, the crisp pear fruitiness settling on my tongue, the doorbell rang.
Of course.
I went to the front of my house and opened the door to see Brenna, Paige, and Annabelle standing there, wine, a cheese plate, fruit, and a box of cupcakes in their hands, and sad smiles on their faces.
“I know you said that you were fine over the phone and that we didn’t need to come over, but here we are.” Annabelle walked in, held me close, and then moved into the kitchen. Paige kissed me on the cheek, Brenna kissed me on the other, and they each walked inside, too. I smiled.
I might have said I wanted to be alone, and that everything might be a little too much for me right now, but I had friends. I wasn’t alone.
Of course, I hadn’t been alone when I sat on Beckett’s lap with him holding me. I wasn’t about to mention that. Or think about it. That would be wrong. I would not think about my friend’s brother. Brenna’s best friend. Not when I was trying to figure out what to do about my late husband’s love child.
And if I kept saying that in my head, maybe it would make sense.
I felt like I was on stage in the middle of a play, and I didn’t know how I had gotten there. I didn’t know my lines, my cues. I knew nothing. I had people to rely on. I had my brothers, and the Montgomerys.
Beckett.
No, Beckett didn’t get his own shoutout. He couldn’t. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe it was the right time.
I didn’t know. I didn’t want to think about the odd, warm feeling I’d had when he held me.
He was just a touchstone. It would be wrong to think about him in any other way. Even though I knew he was going through something, too. I could see it in his eyes, but I wasn’t going to think about that either.
I couldn’t.
Because that would be wrong.
“I made these cupcakes from scratch,” Brenna said.
“Mine, all mine,” Paige said, clapping her hands.
I snorted. “Wow, that’s wonderful,” I said with a laugh. I walked in and hugged each of them tightly. Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I pushed them away.
I had done enough crying while on Beckett’s lap. I didn’t need to do more.
“So, how did your video messaging call with your brothers go?” Annabelle asked as she poured herself the sparkling cider she had brought.
I sipped some of my wine and shrugged. “They want me to move down there, they’re going to help figure out if what Natasha is saying is true, and they’re all big and growly and want to take over everything.”
“Wait, they want you to move down there?” Paige asked, her eyes wide. “You can’t move to Texas. That’s so far away.”
“I might have to move,” I said. “I mean, who knows? My brothers might kidnap me and, suddenly, I find myself living in Texas again.”
“You don’t want to live in Texas,” Brenna said, incensed. “Not that there’s anything wrong with living in Texas. You live in Colorado. With us. We’re your family now. Not that your brothers aren’t amazing…” She trailed off, and I laughed.
“Well, at least one of the brothers I met was amazing,” Annabelle said as she fluttered her eyelashes. “Elliot is cute,” she added, laughing.
“Oh, right.” Paige nodded. “I forgot. Does Jacob know?”
“No, and it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like he’d be jealous. That was a long time ago, when Elliot was stationed here for that minute before he moved away. And when I wasn’t even in the mood to date.”
Annabelle had had her reasons for not wanting to date, but now she was happily married, pregnant, and moving on with her life. I had to figure out how to do so, too.
“I don’t have plans to move to Texas. I might one day, but I’m here now. I have you guys. I