than once. And now it’s changed completely again. I just can’t believe he cheated on her.”
I shook my head and sipped my coffee. “I can’t believe it, either. And I have no one to fight. No one to growl at or hit.”
“I feel like that’s exactly what she feels, too. Because you can’t do anything about it. At least, we can’t. We can pretend, but we have to sit here and show her what choices she has and then respect them once she makes them. It’s just not fair that she’s been put in this position.”
“And she was just getting to be okay. You know?”
Brenna frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. She was just starting to act like this new version of herself. Something happened in her life that changed everything, and she was figuring out who to be now. And that person needs us to support her. She was trying to make choices and figure out who she could be after the devastation, and then the world shifted again.”
I didn’t know if I was talking about Eliza or me, and given how Brenna looked at me, I had a feeling that she thought something was off, too. I cleared my throat. “Well, either way, we’ll help her.”
“Yes, we will,” she said as she plated two waffles and started on another.
“Let’s eat these, and then we’ll work on the next set.”
“Sounds good.”
I got the syrup from the fridge, a kind from Canada that Brenna had gotten me recently and I really only used when she was around. I poured some over my waffles and then handed it to her.
“Looks yummy,” I said.
She scoffed. “Of course, it’s yummy. I made it.”
We dug in, and I let the sweet taste of waffles settle on my tongue. “I think these are the best things you’ve ever made me.”
“You say that every time I cook for you,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m glad you let me cook for you. Lee gets all weird when I show up with waffles, and while Benjamin likes to eat my food, I’ve never actually cooked at his place.”
I frowned. “Really?”
“Really. I settle in here, at my place, and even at Annabelle’s, but Benjamin’s super private.”
I lifted my shoulder in a half-shrug. “That’s my twin for you.”
Her lips quirked into a smile. “It’s funny how different the two of you are, even though so many of your mannerisms are the same.”
“What’s different? Well, you know I’m the pretty one.”
She snorted and nearly choked on her waffles.
I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t know if I appreciate the way you laughed at that.”
“I’m sure you’re gorgeous and the pretty one, but come on, you’re twins. Identical twins.”
“So you’re saying Benjamin’s prettier than me?” I teased.
She rolled her eyes. Things felt normal, like we were back to the way we used to be. And I knew I was the reason for the shift. At least, I thought so. Because I couldn’t tell Brenna what had happened. I’d tried to, but no words came out. I hated that I was hiding things from her, but I didn’t know what to say. Sorry, I was in a shooting and didn’t tell anybody. I got hurt, but I’m okay. And then I watched Brian die, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Everybody had issues, and they were dealing with so much. I didn’t want to be that person. I didn’t want to be the one who changed everything. And yet, I was doing it anyway.
Brenna sighed and set down her fork. “Okay, you and I need to talk.” My stomach clenched.
“Why do you have that shocked look on your face?”
I swallowed hard. “What shocked look?”
“You’re acting as if I’m about to ask you something horrendous. Maybe I am, but we do need to talk, Beckett. Because something’s wrong.”
I let out a breath and said the one thing that would probably get me thrown out of my own house, but I needed to know. “Brenna, you know I love you, just not in the way you might hope.” I blurted the words, wanting to soften the blow. Because I didn’t want to hurt my best friend. I just didn’t feel the same way about her as others thought she felt about me.
She blinked at me and then groaned. “Oh, my God. Really?” She rolled her eyes.
I froze, confused. “What?”
“Did you really just say that you love me but not the way I love you?”
I winced, knowing I had firmly shoved